Archive for the 'Sports' Category

Blurbtacular Saturday!

Random thoughts for a random Saturday in a random October of a random life.

Went to Bardovan in Poughkeepsie last night and was struck by the people sitting there listening to live guitar driven music like it was performance art. A packed house full of people sat there for 2 hours not reacting to music they paid a decent amount to hear live. No bobbing their head to the beat. no foot tapping. Nothing. But after each song they erupted into raucus applause and cheering. Now I didn’t like the music at all and even I was bouncing my leg a bit. Mostly I wanted to nap or run from how obnoxiously loud the music was.

And that’s another issue I have: The idea that louder = better. Screw nuance or subtlety. Just blow their ears out and they’ll think they’re hearing some good shit. Dazzle them with a sound system and they wont notice how mediocre the music is. THis is a widespread issue even on CD’s which are being produced to play louder. IT’s some of the stupidest shite to happen to music since people started treating Country music as a legitimite art form worthy of a separate awards show.

The performer in question was Susan Tedeschi and her band. Sort of a blues-Bonnie Raitt type of sound. Raitt is perhaps not coincidentally playing the same venue this Sunday night. Thank god I won’t have to sit through that overrated crap. I want twang in my lemonade not my music. But the impression I got from the room last night was of a bunch of uptight elitist hippies wanting to be seen out and about doing cultural things and pretending to like a marginal talent because its Woodstock hippie cool to take notice and support fringe stuff. That’s fine if you really like it. But if you really it like shouldn’t you move to the music instead of sitting there studying the stage like you’re watching a Fellini movie?

I even smelled a few people with Patchuli on them. Most of them men I think. Now as much as I find aspects of the Patchuli smelling experience deplorable and everything it stands for dubious I am prone to want to have sex with a woman wearing it. THis is one of my burdens and or fetishes. Due to a couple of women in my past I want to both vomit at the smell and fornicate. Perhaps simultaneously. Judge me if you must. But a man wearing it just makes me want to beat the living crap out of him until the coppery silver smell of his own blood overwhelms and purifies the stench he has so liberally applied to his flesh. And I do mean liberal in a couple of ways here.

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mOre on music: I think Metallica putting out a decent new album is making me revert to an 80′s-early 90′s version of myself. I’m dressing in black, being angry more, wanting to be unemployed just hanging out improving my body and mind on my own time, and am less attractive to women then ever.

See now that I think about it whatever fortune I had with women (and I did have some surprisingly pretty attractive women’s attentions considering my lack of looks, physical prowess or money for a bit from my late 20′s to mid to late 30′s) seems to have coincided with Metallica sucking somewhat. Now just in time for me being ignored and shunned all over again Metallica is back with a pretty good album. In my opinion their first of that decade to 12 year period in question where pretty girls occasionally talked to me rather than spit upon me.

Problem is I doubt they’ll make good albums until I’m 80 or whatever.

But Death magnetic is good. It’s not AJFA or MOP good. Or even Black Album. But it kicks some ass and has some riffage that grabs you by the throat and chokes you refusing to let go until you change your evil ways. THere’s some decent impotent middle class white boy rage venting possibilities on it and perhaps that’s why I’m wanting to revert to the impotent middle class white boy of my misspent youth.

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Red Sox take game 1 in Tampa. Still think Rays have an edge if it’s a long series. I think if it goes 6-7 they win. If the Sox are going to win this thing I think it has to happen in 4-5 and end at Fenway. THat remains highly unlikely. But sweet babseball jesus do I enjoy watching Boston play. Thank mythology there’s an American League with a team I’ve always dug and does everything a large market team should do for me to hide out from the Mets in and around.

And speaking of the Mutts no one should be untouchable. I wold trade anyone in the right deal. I would start with Jose Reyes the most overrated player in the game. I’ve never taken to him and his clownish antics. i think he’s a stupid player, incapable of learning, and a showboating loser. If I could get a top line arm for him I’m there. I’ll drive the punk to his new city.

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Giants looking good but not really tested yet. Even if they take that step back I thought they would and still think will get exposed later this season due to the losses they’ve sustained this is a solid bunch with decent youth and this could be fun to be around for a few years. And they already stole a Super Bowl championship early in the game.

Good times.

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THis just in: Sarah Palin vomited about a quart of semen since identified as belonging to long dead Pilgrims.

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Some of McCain’s decent side finally came out Friday when he tried putting an end to his supporters hate filled and ignorant ramblings about Obama. I almost felt sorry for JM when he had to cut off this illiterate white woman that could barely form a sentence about being scared of an Arab President. You know deep down he hates these people as much as he ever did. But he sold his soul to them and has had to live with the legacy of a dumbed down electorate and the fear mongering tactics of his party. He’s in league with the devil and he knows it. That’s worse than Bush who really has no fucking clue.

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SPeaking of which I want to see W. I’m not a huge Oliver Stone fan. He’s an ok director who takes things too far quite often. BUt I want to sit in a theater with liberals and watch as they get as tribal as right wingers at a church rally pretending what they’re watching is reality instead of just something that makes them comfortable. It’s stupid shit but it may be fun stupid shit and it’s always good to remind myself of how liberals are just as full of it at times.

Though far less judging from the evidence.

I don’t like the fact that Stone apparently puts a lot of Iraq on Bush’s daddy issues. i think that minimilizes the conspiracy and long standing ideological agenda that was at play there and Dick Cheney’s part in it. One only has to read the PNAC policy paper from the 90′s of which Cheney was an author to know why Iraq happened.

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And if it weren’t for Iraq maybe we could use some of that uncountable money to help out the economic crisis. I’ve myself lost 2-3 thousand so far. THis is partly my fault for letting my money sit in a system I didn’t believe in. I’ve wondered aloud how we could sustain our economy when it’s built on invisible money and credit. Debt being the number one industry in America couldn’t be a good thing could it? People buying shit they can’t afford can’t be smart can it? It’s got to blow doesn’t it? And yet I left it in there hoping I was just ignorant about economics. Which I am. So maybe the experts really know something I don’t and that’s why they trust the system.

Well they did know more. But it’s not why they trusted the system. THey were towing a party line and burying their heads in the sand.

But this isn’t all about Republicans and Democrats or Wall Street corruption. I wish Obama had the guts to put some of the blame where it belongs. And that’s on the spoiled brats making up the American people. We have a sense of entitlement here. Americans believe they deserve it all and deserve it now. Whether they can afford it or not. So just charge it. Buy a house because you deserve it and its an american birthright to own a home. Someone will will give you a loan and then you’ll win the lottery or god will provide or whatever.

Didn’t work. All debts come due and if you don’t do the math and show your work you’re going to fail. That’s why I haven’t brought a house these past years when everyone was buying and telling me I had to because it’s a great investment. THose numbers never added up. Equity never added up. now many of those popel are facing foreclosure or are going to get bailed out by my losses and future tax dollars. They’re just as much to blame as the CEO’s and predatory lenders.

But entitlement means never having to say you’re sorry.

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Come on admit it. No matter what the polls say part of you thinks the Republicans will fix the election and steal it again.

Not that I trust polling at this time of the election year. How much of a cross representation are they? And do they really take into account electoral college votes rather than popular votes. A broad survey of American might just say a certain percentage of idiots is favoring one idiot over another idiot by whatever percentage points. But if those percentages are not affixed to individual states electoral counts what does it matter?

And didn’t Kerry and Gore lead at this time also?

PLease Barack stop telling me this is the most important election of our time. You guys said that in 04 and choked on it like the Mets in September. 04 was bigger. Much bigger. Just deal with it America. Retrospectively 2000 was bigger than both 04 and 08 combined though we couldn’t know just how much at the time. But 04 was bigger at the time and retrospectively. I wanted that one so bad I could taste it. I know Kerry would lose despite the polling but it was close enough I allowed myself to hope. And i wanted it bad and was commensurately disappointed when it didn’t happen.

I’m not going there now. McCain would not be as bad as Bush. That’s more bullshit Obama rhetoric and he knows it. He is far less full of it than McCain but let’s stop making him out to be Truth & Justice incarnate. The scary thing is a potential Palin presidency if McCain can’t make it through 4-8 years. That could be a catastrophe. That’s what Democrats should be talking about because it remains the single biggest difference between two candidates that aren’t half as different as they are making themselves out to be.

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And pragmatism.

Look it up. Read your history.

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A guy who actually writes for the Wall Street Journal actually said taxes are un-american and that the country was built on not paying them. He mentioned the Boston Tea PArty. The Wall Street Journal!

Dude, the slogan was not “No taxation!” It was “No taxation without representation!” THey didn’t have an issue with being taxed. They had an issue with being taxed by a sovereign across an ocean without and say or freedoms. Once we formed our own nation the founding dudes installed taxes. Washington even killed some americans for not wanting to pay them.

Seriously someone who writes for the WSJ should know this shit. BUt right wing ideology real does seem to make people stupid and put some amazing ass big blinders on.

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TV:

I loved Pushing Daisies last year but it’s kind of boring me now. It hurts me to say this. THe show needs an arc. Some internal mythology beyond the one note touch the dead thing. Bring back Pee Wee Herman.

Heroes is some of the stupidest stuff on the tv. Show makes no sense. Just from an internal logic angle. None. I can’t watch it anymore. I wish people would watch Mad Men more so I can talk about it.

Jack Bauer is coming. Look busy.

I think Galactica airs the next minute of their final season this week. I hear next weeks minute really rocks! I can’t wait until 2034 when all the minutes have aired.

Did I mention sci fi channel sucks?

MSNBC is sometimes like Fox Left OF The Dial. Can’t someone on tv let people form their own opinions? I like having an outlet like them sometimes but I hate seeing some good folks there like Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow carry on like ideology is strictly a GOP invention and that having the same stable of cheerleaders on board constitutes a broad spectrum or reportage.

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I want a t shirt that says I’m voting for “That one,” with a picture of Obama.

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Seriously, how may Republicans do you think have masturbated over shagging Palin? She is literally their wet dream come true. Surface gloss, dirty underneath the librarian cover with a the all-off stain remover of Jesus to make it ok, stupid enough to believe whatever they suggest, would probably let them call her, “mommy,” nice boobies, and a predilection for skull fucking.

Ok I sort of made up that last one. As far as I know. But the rest rings too true and I’m sure many a GOP bedsheet has needed extra laundering the past 6 weeks.

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WWGD?

I’d like to do something different. Remember that episode of Seinfeld when George decides to do the opposite because all his choices are always bad? And things start working out for him?

I kind of want to do this. Of course it may be dangerous because my decision making apparatus isn’t all that bad. As much as I have in common with George I’ve painted over the Costanzian part of my brain with a lot of layers of pragmatic and sensible colors.

It’s more the long range stuff and the decisions of the past where I go wrong. Horribly and disastrously wrong. From there are born the scary and fanged ghouls screaming in my head. But still. Things not good? Why do the same things?

And how far to take it?

Do I start going to church and supporting George Bush?

Do I root for the Yankees? Start wearing loafers? Ride a bike to work? Masturbate in public?

I mean I don’t do any of these things now and quite frankly I could be happier. So where is the line drawn? Do I just wait for decisions to come up and make a different choice than i normally would?

How about hitting on women in a blatant and indiscriminate way? Cussing out co-workers when they’re stupid? Writing the opposite of what I want to write? How would that work? Let me try that now. Here’s a go at an opposite sentence:

You can’t stay the same. Life is pointed and your living it cuts me deep. Please lend me your strawberries and never forget the whorl that binds up by centuries.

What the hell was that?

See? There has to be some structure to this thing.

I don’t exercise or write enough. So I could try and do that more. But I can’t work less hours. I suppose I could eliminate more tv and books though I need some for inspiration.

I’ve never made the decision to get a Russian bride. Maybe it’s time.

I’ve been playing with ideas like moving back to city area, stepping down at work, reconstructive surgery, getting a pet, shaving my head, finding an avenue for a psycho sexual downward spiral, killing my Buddha, blowing my cash on frivolities, getting a 2nd job, conquering the disease of sleep, advertising for surrogate mama dramas, a life of crime, living as a hermit, and disappearing in the X Box experience.

Some of these things can work together and some are mutually exclusive. So I’ve got some work to do on this. I think i should start with ignoring the Mets.

Admitting that I’m kinda ok with John Edwards being President.

Smoking.

Winking at women randomly in what may border on extreme creepiness.

Lying regularly. This one especially. Truth has no friends. It makes no warm bedfellow-ettes. Maybe when you don’t have what people want you need to lie about it and at least enjoy it until you get found out.

It seems to keep a lot of people distracted. Diversion is part of the secret to survival I think. It’s why people create drama. And damn it now that there are no writers working I need somebody to bring the fake drama. How about a mama?

And in no time at all I could be espousing safe opinions and mindsets that can go a long way.

I think we should invade Iran.

See that wasn’t so hard.

Opposite+lie=Fun.

This is something Fox News viewers understand. Perhaps they are the future? Prophets even.

People in middle America really get it. They’re ahead of the learning curve. Like Lou Dobbs. Our borders are broken and we need to fix them. With blood.

This is our land damnit!

And if you want to kill babies in it you can get out too! A fetus is just the 1st chapter in a great book. Rip it out and you’ve destroyed that book.

And speaking of destroying books I’m all for that!

Burn em!

The bad ones anyways. Tain’t no one so smart they should be puttin’ on airs like that.

It tain’t humble!

Will I start believing these things?

Got to start somewhere so as of now no more eating stem cells for breakfast.

No more watching so many movies without neat explosions.

I’m going to stop trying to avoid learning the lines to Lee Greenwood’s “Proud To Be An American,” and reciting them routinely.

I’m getting rid of all my wire coat hangers.

I’m going to need a less sensible car.

Less bookstore more seedy neighborhood dives.

Goodbye Salmon hello Mac & Cheese!

It occurs to me though that if I’m making the decision to do the opposite and my decisions are usually bad, that the decision to do the opposite must therefore be a bad one.

Think about that.

This whole idea is an enigma wrapped in riddle and stuffed with creamy white goodness made of synthetic ingredients. It’s a Catch 22 except backwards. A catch 22. It’s a Socratic dialectic with a young boy’s Greek sausage impaled in the center of it’s reason. An algebraic conundrum in which the value of x is a short story by Phillip K Dick. It’s a Wookie living on Endor. It’s Schrodinger’s Box and when I open it Heisenberg pops out and beats Schrodinger to death with a dead cat.

Or is it just passed out?

These questions are too deep for me. When i was young it seemed like life was so wonderful but then they sent me away to teach me how to be sensible. Logical. Responsible, practical.

There are times when all the worlds asleep, the questions run too deep for such a simple man.
Wont you please, please tell me what weve learned? I know it sounds absurd. Please tell me who I am.

Obviously there has to some happy medium in this whole opposite thing. One can’t suddenly go all unequivocally reverse in all things. Maybe an old dog and all that. Let’s give it some thought shall we. What to keep and what to throw over the side. We can’t ballast the sinking ship. Something must go. But replaced with how much weight? Something lighter must this way come. Change makes me hungry.

Can I have kippers for Breakfast? Mummy dear, mummy dear?

Oops I Posted Again!

Some sports items from the cyber ghetto.

Joe Torre is ok but is this Yankee-Dodger thing really worthy of the superlatives and hype?

Every NY news outlet has covered every aspect of this, especially his departure from NY like the deaths of Lady Di and insert dead Kennedy name here.

Torre was just as much of a Yankee shill as the next guy at times over the years like when he backed Roger Clemens defense for throwing the bat at Piazza in game 1 of the World Series in 2000. He actually wanted us to believe he believed that juiced up herpes encrusted Baseball whore Clemens actually thought it was the ball he was throwing at Piazza for christ’s sake. And now him and other brown nosing Yankee madia shills like Mike Francessa are carrying on about Torre masterminding an enormous rebuilding of the team the past 2 years. They integrated 2 or 3 young pitchers into the mix this year. That’s not rebuilding. You don’t rebuild with a $200 million payroll full of All Stars. Give the Yanks credit for drafting guys like Joba and Hughes from a low drafting position. Part of that is having the money to go out of slot but I wish the mets had the smarts to do that. But Torre had little to do with that and it does not constitute some drastic overhaul of the roster and master rebuilding project.

I like Torre and think he did the right thing. But stop martyring the guy. He has not suffered grievance wounds. He is not Baseball’s Jesus and contrary to media opinion he is not one of the top 10 human beings to have ever walked upright.

And now thinking he brings some magical managerial acumen to L.A. is silly. Where was the magic when he managed the Mets, Braves, and Cards with average or below average payrolls? IF Arod goes with him and they get a starter they’ll be scary good. Might now be better than the Mets irregardless. But Torre, as with his Yankee days, hasn’t got that much to do with it.

He was lucky here and he’s getting lucky again now because the Dodgers do have some good young talent. Even with Arod this is a team with enough there and enough chips to move to be prime players for a while.

But the enforced resignation of their manager Grady Little seems very much in reaction to Torre’s availability. So Torre took part in manipulating for a job that another man held even while Torre talked to the Dodgers. Then after Torre accepts, Little announces he was planning on resignation? Sounds like they allowed him to save face. And Torre played the game and did this to a decent guy. He campaigned behind the scenes to take another mans job. There is strong reason to believe Little wasn’t going anywhere unless Torre or maybe Girardi was coming in. It’s considered pretty classless to lobby for someone else’s job. In my opinion it stinks as bad as anything the Yanks did to him. And yet not one media person has questioned this scenario. So trained are they to accept all things Torre and smell his shit and inhale deeply its redolent aroma.
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Seems as if MLB in conjunction with some of those whacky-ass Christians is sending mislabeled or dud team clothes to African people in need. What this means is that when stuff like championship hats and T’s get printed for a team that loses and the teams can’t sell them, they give them to poor Ghanaians. This includes division champ shirts. What this means is that there are people in Africa walking around with Mets 2007 Eastern Division Champs T shirts and hats and quite possibly believing them to be representing reality. A reality much different than ours. A reality in which the Mets did not suffer an historic and ignominious choke that let a piece of garbage team like the Phillies become the actual nL east champs before succumbing in 3 straight to a lousy Colorado team full of born agains. A team who will find out something about real Baseball in the World Series against Boston. (I wrote that before the Series started by the way and kept it in to show my genius. Actually it shows how obvious it was that the Mets are pathetic for not even getting into the playoffs as part of such an inferior league).

All the nL incompetence only exemplifies how putrid the Mets are. I mean not only couldn’t they even make the playoffs (as predicted by yours truly I might add), but they had to choke like motherfuckers in a display of incompetence, gutlessness, and stupidity virtually unmatched in Baseball history to not make those playoffs.

But in Ghana they are the Eastern champs.

And Christians continue to perpetuate lies and fantasies.

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I expect Manning and Brady to battle out mano a mano this Sunday, the 2 of them flying high above the field and having at each other the way Peter and Sylar should have last May. I know this will happen because the media is always right when they hype these things up like this. It’s never disappointing.

Disappointing like a motherfucker.

Go Colts!

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2 championships in 4 years for the Red Sox and yet we still have gravity and linear time. THe earth has not opened up.

This may be because of the anti curse of Alex Rodriguez. When he almost went to Boston before the 04 season but wound up with the Yanks, something happened. Reverse the curse. The curse of Payrod was born. And it was best symbolized in game 6 of the alcs as the yanks were undergoing an historic collapse of their own blowing a 3 zip lead to their archrivals. Gayrod tried to slap the ball out of Bronson Arroyo’s glove running down the 1st baseline. It was truly a moment. Seeing him with his hand open and bent so gaily in its little girl posture was revelatory.

And now he is gone seeking a 10 year deal worth around $30 million a year. And the Sox win again.

This will probably help the Yanks. Wherever Arod has gone bad things generally happen and when he leaves teams traditionally get better. Jon Stewart said it to David Wright on The daily Show the other night while asking Wright if he’d switch positions for His Gayness. He said his karma is bad and he infects teams in a bad way. Called him the Dick Cheney of Baseball.

The Mets could have had him 6 years ago. They passed because they thought his demands for things like a personal tent, plane, offices, etc were selfish and that he was a 24 and 1 type of guy on a team. So now that he’s 32 and most likely headed into his non prime years we’re going to talk to his agent.

Typical Mets.

Welcome to Losersville Arod. You’ll fit right in here.

But odds are he’ll go West. NY is too much for this guy. He needs California Baseball to pursue his records in. That’s all he really cares about anyway. Announcing his departure during the final game of the World Series was another indicator of what this guy is all about. Himself. MLB chastised him for that. He upstaged the WS. A big no-no in Baseball. But that’s Arod and his agent Scott Boras.

Detroit and Florida could be wild cards here. He’s from Florida. Big surprise there being flat, glossy, artificial and without personality as he is. Detroit might not be close enough to celebrities for him. God knows it’s not for Torre who could only go to LA with NY out of the picture. That guy needs star approval to bask in like a dog needs to be pet.

Arod is damn good. But 10 years? And how much do the stats make up for his blatantly insincere and phony personality? He’s karmically challenged like a motherfucker.

But after the choke the Mets do need to start making some bold moves and there’s no pitching out there they can get. Getting him would put them in the national spotlight and consciousness in a way they haven’t really been. That’s a place only Boston and the Yanks have really occupied. And breaking Bonds HR record at out new stadium some day as he’s capable of doing at this point would help give Citifield an identity apart from the mostly crappy I.D. Shea has. And whatever his faults he’s no Barry Bonds. There wold be a lot more goodwill surrounding his chase of the record. It would likely be much more celebrated if only because it removes Bonds from the top. There would be a more auspicious air about the whole thing that the Mets have never been a part of.

But who cares if you don’t win and committing that much payroll to one guy is never a good way to go about winning championships. If you do you got to be prepared to go somewhere in between Red Sox-Yankee levels of payroll and fuck the rules like they do. i’m not sure I want the Mets to do that but i also don’t want to watch them become more and more obsolete again.

So though I lean away from Slappy McSlappicuddy I’m not ruling it out as something I’d do. But I would be more inclined towards it if he were the one switching positions and not Wright. Wright will get killed at 2nd. He doesn’t have the body type to play there and turn the deuce. Arod at 1st eventually is the only way I see things working out and I don’t think that’s going to happen.

COAMF XI: Hey NOw Hey NOw Don’t Dream It’s Over.

Last night the Mets season ended as ignominiously and pathetically as I predicted. THe vaunted offense didn’t show up. The opportunities for greatness were there and no one could rise up to the energy of the crowd and a miracle saving catch by Endy Chavez in LF. Although in my dreams the Kirk Gibson-esque moment we all wanted our boy Cliff Floyd to have actually happened.

Last night FLoyd limped to home plate in the 9th with 2 on nobody out and down by 2. Everyone wanted that homer by a guy we love. A guy who has suffered here and has been a gamer enduring many hardships. He struck out of course. BUt later as I slept I actually dreamt that he hit a home run there. I dreamt the response to that homer. I wallowed in it as a fan up close enough to be a participant. I guess I didn’t want to go as quietly into the long dark winter just yet. I’m not going to talk about the game but instead leave with this quote from former Baseball Commissioner Bart Giamatti:

“It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops.”…

I woke from my dream with that chill rain pattering my window.

And a broken heart.

The free agency period begins in 3 weeks.

Winter meetings in about 7.

Pitchers and catchers report in 16 weeks.

On into the lonely winter.

Confessions Of A Mets Fan X: The Butterfly Effect.

I made the decision to not watch this thing. Couldn’t deal with seeing it happen on our field. But in the end I couldn’t resist.

Despite another meltdown in the 9th by the gutless and or mediocre Billy Wagner the Mets held on for a 4-2 win and forced a winner take all game 7 Thursday night.

Maybe I won’t watch that one. I don’t feel good about this and can’t ake much more. I wasn’t going to watch tonight but couldn’t find anything to do and went home just to eat right around the start of the game. i told myself I’d just watch the first couple of innings while I cooked and ate then get out of the house. So I kept my shoes and clothes on which I don’t usually do when I come in. Certainly the shoes go off if I’m going to be in a while. But I wanted to be ready to bolt. The shoes were feeling uncomfortable. But after those initial couple of innings went by and John Maine hadn’t given up a run I felt like I couldn’t ruin the universal balance and leave. I had to wait for that first Cardinal run.

The Cards didn’t score in the 1st and Reyes led off with a homer for the Mets.

Did I dare jinx this thing?

No.

So inning after inning I watched. I stayed in the same seat with shoes on feeling a tad uncomfortable but not wanting to set off a butterfly like effect and change anything that was working. The Mets scored again later and I was further committed to not messing this up on my end.

By the 10:30 range it was obvious I couldn’t go anywhere since Barnes & Noble would be closing soon and diners are lonely places. Bars are out of the question for teetotalling half deaf people who have to fight an irresistable urge to slap and or make fun of drunk people, like myself.

I wanted to remove the shoes and pants. But would that start a chain reaction leading to catastrophe at Shea?

So I stayed in the same seat wearing the same stuff with my shoes kicking at my desk, occasionally resting on its pull out slidedraw. I couldn’t even go online because I didn’t start the game doing that and it seemed like it was further committing me to being in for the night and having to face the horror and sadness of the end alone in front of a 50 inch television bringing the horror vibrantly into my room in excruciatingly crystal clear high definition.

So I stayed dressed and perched as if I was about to bolt. Just hanging around temporarily until my ride showed up or I got the call to leave. Something of that attitude in my head and my posture.

So some time around 11:30 we get to the 9th with a 4 run lead. Still no runs given up. Wagner comes in. I said to my tv earlier at 2-0 Wagner would blow that. We needed at least a 3 run cushion with our $10 million a year wreck of a closer.

In no time at all it was 2nd and 3rd nobody out. he gets a couple of outs but chokes and its 4-2 with the tying run up. Crowd shots showed alot of very distressed people. Actually alot of the crowd looked that way all night long. Alot of life and death tension in the air at Shea tonight.

SO after the runs it seemed the butterfly effect rule was no longer in play and I should bolt. Get out now rather than watch the ultimate meltdown and choke!

BUt it was too late to leave. Leave it to the Mets to con me into staying and watching and then when I was trapped to slap me with my silly superstitious baseball mindset.

But Wagner got the out. Grounder to 2nd. Not pretty. But we got a game 7.

What to do tomorrow?

Do i sit in the same clothes and shoes in the same spot?

Do i go and sit in a dark movie theater or the book store?

Do i drive to Manhattan and wallow in it with my beloved New Yorkers?

I don’t know yet.

I’m not optimistic. This is not a great team. They’d have little shot against Detroit. Neither would the Cardinals. What we are seeing is a battle of mediocrity.

But the Cards have more on the bench right now. They have deeper starting pitching. Hotter hitters. More experience in these situations. And they don’t have Oliver Perez pitching.

Oliver Perez is pitching game 7 of the NLCS for the Mets.

THink about that.

Say it out loud a few times.

If you know anything about Baseball you know that this is akin to saying The nukes will hit the U.S. unless George Bush can outwit Kim Jong Il in a game of chess.

Or your movie franchise will die unless the next version is great and the man you’ve hired to direct it is Tim Burton.

And Perez is pitching on a days less rest than usual.

He wasn’t even on their roster for the Dodger series in the 1st round.

He was basically given away by the Pirates.

The Pirates!

Not the cool kind.

The ones form Pittsburgh.

Yes he was great 3 years ago but he’s been a mess since. Mets actually tried to trade him and did indeed trade him within hours after acquiring him. Moved him to San Diego but the Padres GM suddenly nixed the deal when word leaked that the Mets best reliever was injured in cab accident the night before.

The guy is basically a reclamation project. Someone to have pitching coack Rick Peterson work with for a year and hope we can salvage a decent pitcher who does have some good stuff. But now 2 months or so later with him having improved numbers in his Met appearences but still pretty bad ones (his Pittsburgh major and minor league numbers the last 2 years were absolutely mind bogglingly bad), he’s on the hill with the season on the line.

He’s been getting props for his Game 4 showing. But he gave up 5 runs and 9 hits in 5 innings for gods sake. (5 and two thirds to be exact). It shows you how far our standards have dropped when that’s a good outing.

He is still young (I think around 24), and Willie is playing the natural talent card here as opposed to experience or consistency.

BUt I don’t think it will work. The Card Suppan shut us out in Game 3. he’s not great but he’s credible.

And the Mets offense just hasn’t really showed up.

So between this, the non existent bench, the overused bullpen, and the mostly useless offense, I don’t have much hope.

We are at home and the Cards aren’t exactly the 27 Yankees.

Hell they’re not even the 06 Yankees.

But the Mets are thinned out and hanging by a thread. They can’t win much more like this. I think despite all the sudden optimism after tonight I think the Mets don’t have 2 straight wins left in them.

If my some chance we have a 1 or 2 run lead in the 9th I can’t see our wonderful lefty closer not choking it up.

Either one of these teams is probably Tiger bait but it would still be nice to get there. I think the pressure would be off. I could handle just showing up against Detroit.

But at least we forced it to 7. That’s more revenue for the Mets the more games they get and it’s that much more they can put into the team in the offseason to improve it. Once I settled in and watched I was on edge every inning despite the teams limited chances to do much beyond.

I didn’t want it to end that quickly though, or with me watching alone to wallow in my increasingly lousy month. October is my favorite month but it’s been a lousy one on many fronts. I’d still like to see this team drag another week out of this season-week and a half if they can scratch out a win or two against Detroit-but losing tomorrow will be better in some ways than tonight. Some ways worse because you can move on with a win. But they didn’t just die. Maine showed a little something. And we get more money. There’s more respect in losing in 7. Especially when you have no starting pitching staff.

But I’m not sure I can watch.

COAMF IX: The Bubble Bursts.

Well it was inevitable. THis isn’t a great team. The pitching staff is garbage. Much of the lineup is old, and the bench is a mess. You don’t win championships like that. And tonight the Mets played a disgraceful game at home and go back to St Louis with the Cards having all the momentum and confidence.

The Mets blew 3 seperate multiple run leads as John Maine was as lousy as one would expect of these Mets starters but the pen didn’t get it done either. They were going to hit a wall and hit it ugly the way they’re overused due to the lousy staff and tonight they hit it and hit it hard.

And I don’t think they’ll recover.

With the Cards fired up and seeming like a team on aa mission, being home and us throwing Trachsel, Perez and Glavine on 3 days rest the next 3 ini St Louis, and with no day off for the overused pen, I think we’ve played our last game at Shea in 06.

That’s right. I’m saying it’s over and the Cards win the next 3, 4 in a row total, and take it in 5.

Mets look like a mess. It’s almost embarrasing having guys like Franco off the bench who is completely shot as a major leaguer. He steps in and I shrug for the automatic strikeout. And it always is. Green is a joke and his pathetic defensive skills cost us tonight. Wright can’t hit a deep fly out anymore much less a homer or ball in the gap. Valentin has been shot for 2 months and hasn’t had a hit in the playoffs. We have no starter besides Glavine, who can’t pitch on 3 days rest but will have to on Monday. He’s been horrible in that role in October over the years with Atlanta. Wagner imploded in the 9th tonight proving he’s really as gutless as I’ve always said. All those regular season meltdowns mean something and I always thought he’d have at least one in October. We have a wasted roster spot with Floyd being a gimp.

I said last week if the Mets win it will be all Delgado adn indeed he and Loduca are the only Mets who have done much of anything in October. But that’s not enough. Especially when you have so little pitching.

There’s more about this team and this game which I’m too disgusted to discuss. I almost called out from work to watch this and thank goodness I didn’t waste my time. MInaya did some good things for this team but the mistakes are coming home to roost now.

Steve Trachsel has never shown much clutch or guts and he’s pitching with the season on the line Saturday night in St Louis. Game 4 you have Oliver Perez who the Pirates gave up oon because he’s such a mess. THis is a guy who was picked up to be a long term reclamation project and now a couple of months later the Mets are so hard up he’s going to pich in the middle of the NLCS.

There is absolutley no way the Mets win that game.

I don’t think they are winning another game this year but I can’t rule out tomorrow or Monday with 100% confidence. But Sunday with Perez is just giving a game away.

And the other 2 in St Louis are very unlikely.

THis is the beginning of a very ugly weekend and probably an ignominious and pathetic ending of the Mets season.

COAMF VIII: I Love Me Them Shutouts.

Mets win game 1 of NLCS 2-0.

My kind of game. Wish the Mets could play these every night. This kind of game keeps my panic under a semblance of control. But it is worrisome that the Mets aren’t hitting much since that is our strength.

But it was kind of predictable too. David Wright in particular is a problem I think. THe guy hasn’t displayed any power in 2 or 3 months. Tonight he was up in the 8th with a chance to get a key insurance run in with a man on 3rd and 1 out and you could just feel he had no chance of getting the ball out of the infield.

As many expected Valentin has hit a monster sized wall.

But he did make a great play in the 9th with an assist by Delgado who made a sweet scoop.

Floyd is of course hurt again. Yanked from the game early. That did get our boy Endy Chavez in who made a great diving catch very few players would have made.

Both runs came on a big fly by Carlos Beltran. I love that. Great pitching 1 or 2 homers, some good defense and lets move on.

And Tommy Glavine pitched well. He has 13 scoreless postseason innings now for the Mets. He was a bit lucky in spots tonight but if he can give a 2 or 3 more of these the Braves years are officially forgotten and i’ll do the Tomahawk Chop on my kneews in front of Ted Turner and Jane Fonda.

But that’s unlikely. A sense of calm is starting to settle in now. THis is very unlilkely to go the distance and I know that. It was unlikely all season with our staff. And much of our vaunted offense seems shot. But we didn’t go down in the 1st round. We’re getting some playoff experience. And we’re better off than the Yankees.

And not to make light of it but we’re certainly better off than Cory Lidle.

But of course it was still a tense game early on. Gave me chair a good wprkout with the rolling and spinning. The crowd at Shea didn’t seem as electric as I’d like. I don’t know if they were nervous or if too many tickets went to celebrities and corporate suits who are too good to make noise. But I need to see some steadier excitement tomorrow.

IT is hard to maintain that kind of energy and NY crowds generally know when to take it up a notch. I suspect if we’re back here for a game 6 or 7 the buzz will be steadier. On the otehr hand they could be a bit scared like I sensed they might be tonight. That underdog role we were suddenly cast in in the Dodger series is just as suddenly off as we’re not most peoples pick to win this one.

Also I didn’t realize it but tonight was the first time a game 1 of the CS has taken place at Shea.

The Cards have their ace on tomorrow against one of our men of mediocrity John Maine. On paper this is a mismatch. Especially the way the Mets are hitting. Or not hitting. The rainout allowed Carpenter to come back a game early. One of the disadvantages from the cancellation. And Pujols is due. Glavine kept him off balance tonight. John Maine won’t do the same.

And thanks to the rainout I now have to work for game 2 which should have been tonight. Not sure how I’ll handle it. I’ll DVR the puppy either way but don’t know if I’ll catch snatches at work. Might depend on who I work with. I can’t be bothered by work problems or needs during an obviously more important event.

As a matter of fact I think I should get paid time off for these games. Or at least time and a half for the duress and sacrifice I’m enduring in order to accomodate these people.

Item 1 when my people take control of the White House.

Confessions Of A Mets Fan VII

Surreality hits NY Baseball the day of scheduled Game 1 of NLCS leaving many of us Mets fans a bit torn.

Ok a perfectly innocent and not unprecedented accident takes place in Manhattan as a small plane hits a building. Obviously not terrorism although the media seemed to want it to be the way they were all over this. Just a byproduct of the Bush administration fear mongering hype I guess. Fighters were scrambled over major cities including NY as a precaution which is fine. But it was still obviously not terrorism from word go.

There were initial reports of 2 deaths. Truly tragic and horrible. But I didn’t know them and it was a relief in comparison to 9-11. So I felt ok making a joke.

After Yanks owner George Steinbrenner manufactured the whole firing Torre thing after their eilimination there were alot reports that it was an part an attempt to keep the Mets off the back and front pages after they clinched. Nothing new on Steinbrenners part. he’s fought the back page war in NY for decades.

So I and others joked that Steinbrenner had someone crash the plane to keep the Mets off the frontburner on the day of Game 1 of the NLCS.

A bit later CNN tells us it was Corey Lidle piloting the plane.

HOLY SHIT IT WAS A YANKEE FLYING THE PLANE!

Kind of feel bad making the joke. Harmless at the time though. OF course I’m sorry this happened and Lidle was killed. Just a crazy coincidence it happened on not only the day of Game 1 but also the 11th of the month following September.

Ironically if the Yankees had beaten Detroit he wouldn’t have been up there heading home. Or if he hadn’t been included in the Abreau deal from Philadelphia.

Too bad. He had a 6 year old kid.

Can’t help thinking of Munson August 3rd 1979.

But the game must go on right? Got to give my pre series viewpoint and feelings. Although there is talk of cancelling the game right now due to either or the rain or this accident. Due to pitching situations rainouts or cancellations of any kind would hurt the Mets and facor St Louis. But hey it is just a game.

But they didn’t cancel games when Munson dies so I’m kind of torn on this. Lidle did pitch for the Mets a few years back. THis happened in NY. But I doubt they’ll consider cancelling the AL game tonight and I’m not sure geographical proximity is reason enough to single out the Mets.

But whenever they do play I’m worried about the Cardinals. They’ve been the best NL team the past few years and were kind of lost in the shuffle suddenly this year as the Mets got the acclaim as consensus for the NL’s best. So now the Cards are back with the experience but without the expectations. There’s a load off them since they’re not supposed to win for the first time in their run of NL Central dominance.

And they have Pujols. The guy is a monster. Simply the best. The Mets couldn’t get the ugly evil Jeff Kent out in the Dodger series i Don’t see what chance they have of getting Albert out. And he can do alot more damage than Kent.

And man is our pitching thin. Good news is that theirs isn’t great either. Our bullpen is a bit better. But there’s still some bad matchups coming with Trachsel and Perez in St Louis games 3 and 4. I think the Mets really need these first 2 home games. Reyes needs to get on more and Delgado has to carry the offensive load since Floyd is a gimp and Beltran doesn’t hit when he has boo boos. He has 2 of them right now. Leg and abdominal strain of some sort.

I don’t think either of these teams hits the Tigers in the World Series but I’d still like to get there and take a shot. Maybe those young arms hit a late season wall again. But it will not be easy getting there. Not as easy as some are forecasting. Not that the Mets winning in fairly routine fashion would surprise me either. But as usual I’m not counting on it.

COAMF VI:A Great Day For N.Y. A Great Day For the U.S. And A Great Day For Humanity.

Why? Because the Mets completed a sweep of the Dodgers and the Yankees season ended as it usually does the past few years: In the 1st round. 9-5 Mets over L.A. on the West coast. Mets get a much needed 3 days rest before Championship Series starts on Wednesday against either St Louis or San Diego.

Tonights game was brutal on the nerves excruciating on the psyche, and generally tortuous in a way that is probably illegal somewhere under the Geneva Conventions (Not valid in these non-participating United States). And we were up 2 games and ultimately won by 4.

But it was really a rough one. After blowing a 4-0 lead as Mr Mediocrity Steve Trachsel melted down in the 5th we came back from 5-4 and edged through almost every inning with the Dodgers battling throughout.

I only had 2 hours of sleep last night, watched a guy die at work before 8 A.M., and played Tennis for 90 minutes, so I thought I’d drift off to sleep fairly early. But after that game I’m too wound.

And it was fun watching it with people online and trading barbs and references as the game and its many highs and lows went by. Also reacting to commercials and the announcers stupidity in real time was a blast. And camera shots. All that stuff. Almost as good as having a life and real friends.

And the Yankees are done. As a doornail. Lay down and pissed themselves like scared puppies in the face of a Tiger team that didn’t bow before them.

As I’ve been trying to tell Yankee fans for 6 years you’ll never win another championship with that payroll and a bunch of mercenaries and mediocre old pitchers.

Now of course the Mets have the issue with the old mediocre pitching thing too. And as some point it will probably be our undoing whether in the NLCS or World Series. BUt with everyone picking us for an early exit and the Yanks for greatness (and yes I thought they’d probably be right though the negativity on the Mets is more of a superstitious ritual), we’re making some noise and having a run at least.

BUt man if we hadn’t lost Sanchez in late July and had picked up 1 quality starter as we almost did at the deadline, we’d be in great shape right now.

Still a good season is protected by not being a 1st round loser. 1 more series would clinch a great season no matter what happens after that. Especially considering our paper thin staff.

And that staff was pushed again tonight as Willie had to use 3 guys in the 5th and eventually the whole pen was again pushed into duty accept for ROberto Hernandez whom no one trusts including his mother.

And the ugly beast that is Jeff Kent was put down. Or at least his team was. He actually killed us. Couldn’t get him out. If he becomes Albert Pujols in NLCS we’re in deeep trouble because he can single handedly carry a team and win a series. And the Cards have a few more supporting players with some past glory than Kent.

Indeed a fine day for our species as we find that striking a deal with the Baseball Devil doesn’t win championships and steroids and champagne don’t mix. Steinbrenner will be fuming and Arod will continue to be scourged by his teams fans until being driven out of town.

He should have been human, not let his ego drive him, and work things out with the Mets in 2002. I think he’ll be moved somehow this offseason.

And the good guys won.

COAMF V: Mostly Painless.

Mets win 4-1 in game of small ball. Up 2 games to zip heading to lala land.

I shared this game online with my Mets brothers and found taht the combination of the real time venting and the pace of the game kept me from getting to emotionally up or down. But I did have moments of eye coverage and contorting in my seat. Also got into spinning mode since it’s a rotating desk chair. Of course I couldn’t just spin at any old moment. Once the spin was successful in certain situations like those preceeding a 2 strike pitch from Mets pitchers it had to be continued throughout.

And we got enough of those 2 strike pitches as Glavine and the pen did a great job. Glavine still needs to give me a couple of more playoff starts of quality before the stain of his Brave-ness is removed, but I did start calling him Tommy this year as opposed to 3 years of Tom or Glavine, or that Brave lover. I did go back and forth in 06 with the names but after tonight he can be Tommy full time.

But I still smell some Brave on him. If he gets us to the World Series he gets clean.

MEts got some lucky bounces again and didn’t look good offensively. The rookie Kuo shut us down for the most part. Hes pretty ugly by the way. Dodger ugly and then some.

But the Dodgers didn’t do much offensively all night so I didn’t have to endure runners on base. That meant not only not worrying over guys scoring but not having to have to see more than 1 or 2 ugly Dodger mugs on the field sullying the splendid visages of our boys.

Yanks lost to Tigers too which is nice. They’re 1-1 heading for Detroit.

Cards are up 2-0 as are the A’s.

I said all year too many people are forgetting St Louis. Pujols and Carpenter are a team unto themselves in a short series and the Cards have proven it in playoffs the past 3-4 years.

Mets still have work to do but I felt we had to have 2 at home to start to have a shot with the rejects we have starting in L.A.. And we got it. So there’s a chance now but things could get scary again.

Tonight though was an easy going fairly relaxing Met playoff game in October.