Monthly Archive for November, 2007

My Thanksgiving.

Published on November 19, 2007 in ..The Dude, Life and The Future. 2 Comments

I plan on celebrating this holiday in as true a manner befitting those Puritans who gave it it’s name and began the idea that is America. But I don’t want to stop at just that day. I want to celebrate what it represents, what it meant, and where it led us as a nation in a time we think of as our glorious past.

To this end the festivities will start on Thanksgiving when I will be hunting down Native Americans and killing them and their families with all manner of weapons ranging from muskets to pox riddled blankets I’ll drop off in their conveniently always needy communities.

On Friday I’ll leer at some pretty young white women and when they show no interest I’ll accuse them of being witches and sorcerers and get my fellow participants to put them on trial, tie them to stakes, and burn them.

But the celebrating of our rich history that started with that merry band of repressed psychotics doesn’t end there. On Saturday I will plant a tobacco field in my backyard where I’ll force local Kingston black men and boys to work it at gunpoint. They will also be kept shackled to each other and guarded by others for long periods so I can have a go at their women folk who won’t be as resistive as the witches who we burned all that entitlement and haughtiness manifest in not having sex with me, right out of.

So after we fornicate with the slaves wives and daughters they will be impregnated (these are all ritual acts of course-like a parade) and on Sunday I will club the newborn ritual infants with bibles until they cower in fear at the book which I will then have read to them everyday by their parents as both learn to accept this lifestyle and oppression and sublimate their hope and need for freedom and self worth into a made up invisible world they can go to if they continue to act real meek and generally accept their material and Earthly lot.

What a weekend that will be I tell you.

On Monday, upon hearing that some of those blacks are starting to get uppity and are even forming alliances with some of the poorer and less fortunate local whites, I will get the whites of my stature together to drum up reasons to overthrow the government in a bloody revolution that will redirect the slaves and poor whites energies and hatred away from me and my kind. It will also conveniently kill many of them.

It will also make me more money as I won’t have to pay taxes and tithes on goods or to answer to anyone when it comes to making laws that do right by me. Of course I will say I hadn’t thought of that.

Really I hadn’t.

It’s just these damn British-Neoconservatives-Terorists, get me so mad I can notteth think straighteth!!

On Tuesday north and south Kingston will war over that whole slave issue. I will take the Northern abolitionist side despite my having owned slaves and profited from them. The Front St/Wall St area will be burned to the ground during this ceremony. I’m hoping serendipity will be on our side and the president will happen to get assassinated this week as well.

I will complete the week by moving west across my backyard setting up claims on holes there and quickly moving on after each spots resources have been exhausted. I will scam many people on fake claims in the process and just generally take advantage of the lawlessness and naivete this expansion and hope will breed in people desperate enough to want to spend their holidays in my backyard because they’re so fucked up. Due to this, rules and law will be made up a we go, always coming after I have gained as much power and wealth from the prior lawlessness as possible.

So there it is. Anyone who wants to celebrate a real American Thanksgiving with me is welcome to join in on the fun (African Americans will have no choice of course).

Wait till you see what I have planned for Christmas!

Another Post In Which I Read, Watch Some TV, And See Another Movie.

Published on November 11, 2007 in ..The Dude and Television. 4 Comments

Entertainment Updates.

24 is now officially delayed.

Lost is getting closer to being so as well. They’ve done 8 episodes with the 8th ending in a cliffhanger that Jorge Garcia has said was one of the biggest surprises he’s seen on the show. So this could be used as a season ending cliffhanger if we get no more Lost due to the strike. Does that mean we get extra the next season? Will they alter things and only do 40 more eps instead of the 48 scheduled?

They probably don’t know yet and like some things on the island they’re probably making it up as they go. But we’ve waited long enough for more Lost and there is such mediocre crap all over the tv. I’m Indiana Jonesing for more of the show and really hope the strike ends soon without the writers having to cave.

As for other tv.

Bionic Woman update:

I’m done with that one.

Chuck:

Done.

Journeyman:

Watching while I do other stuff.

Pushing Daisies:

Still trying to make out with this show.

No complaints.

Heroes:

Still watching because I’m dysfunctional and hard up.

Who didn’t see the ending coming last week with Kensie being Adam the big bad of the season?

Tim Kring has actually apologized for this season so far.

I don’t know if I should give him another chance. It’ll probably only hurt me again and the relationship was never that great to begin with.

But man what a sweet ass.

I didn’t mention South Park last time.

That was an unforgivable mistake seeing as it’s probably the show I look forward to most the past 6 weeks. The new season has been very solid with the Kyle Sucks Cartman’s Balls/Imaginationland Trilogy quickly becoming the stuff of lore and legend. They’re releasing a DVD of it with expanded footage. I think this means new stuff added not that they stretched the tape so everyone looks bigger.

Last week was a great parody of the whole guitar hero phenomenon. Nice touches with all Colorado’s celebs, unplugged guitar hero, Stan’s dad’s real playing falling on death ears and going heavy on the Kansas and other 80′s music. “I was soaring ever hiiiYA.” Even while making fun of the whole thing you get the impression Trey and Matt probably played the hell out of this game.

You never catch the dragon man.

You never catch the dragon.

Fag.

Friday night Lights:

Still holding strong. Aaron Pierce got rid of the evidence for his son. I think Landry will be ok. I want him to be.

Family Guy is getting kind of killed for the big 100th episode and killing of Lois. I thought it was a usually solid effort. Don’t get the fuss. It concludes tonight as Lois tries to kill her baby.

They should have saved this kind of thing for the holidays.

Saw Across The Universe last night. I started off loving the damn thing but by the middle I was wondering where it all went wrong. Early on there was a real emotional core to the use of the songs and the actors using them. Opening on Jude, a bit of a McCartney lookalike on the beach plaintively singing Norwegian Wood’s “Is there anybody going to listen to my story, all about the girl who came to stay,” and fading into that, “giiiiirl,” part reverberated. You could feel that “girl,” and everyone whoever made you crazy.

Also clicking early was the lesbian cheerleader’s darker take on I want To Hold Your Hand. I actually liked that better than the original. That pulsing bass and unrequited longing gave that tune an aspect I’d never thought of. Turned it into a far darker song.

There were a few other nice choices of music integrated into the storyline as in the She’s So Heavy/I Want You deal with Max and the Army. SOme clever stuff there. The Statue Of Liberty idea was a good one to fit the tune. But after a while it just felt like too mcuh music being forced into places and storylines they don’t really belong in.

Music has a way of conveying emotions, memories and thoughts in a brusque and economical manner that words can not. I think this movie was going for that while cutting back a bit on some dialogue and character development points. I guess that’s the point of any musical really. But by the end of this I was a bit exhausted by it all and wishing a story that better fit some of the songs had been written.

That’s the advantage of making the music after the story as most musicals do. Something like Grease works so well for that reason. I thought Joss Whedon’s Once More With Feeling ep of Buffy did that remarkably well. Songs that fit and advance the story while staying true to character. Not easy. Usually not worth the risk since musicals are kind of gay. But it worked really well in the last 2 examples.

Not as well in this movie.

And for a movie set largely in Manhattan it was also missing some city flavor as well.

The actors were solid though and that includes their singing. Especially the lead, Jude. His marching through Liverpool to reclaim his girl in America while everyone sang the coda of Hey Jude was another nice moment that fit pretty well. For a 2 hour plus movie though it needs quite a few more of them to live up to it’s early potential and become the feel good, heartwarming movie I wanted it to be and that early on I thought it could it be.

I’m rereading Red Mars right now. It’s part 1 of a trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson. I originally read it in the 90′s and never finished the series. I want to do that now since I feel it was a pretty epic and complete work that deserves my time and effort. It’s probably the best received of any space colonization novel. It’s got a nice blend of technology and the human elements of such an undertaking that include the inevitable politics, sociological and psychological issues, soap operas, and mystery. Like with the Neil Stephenson Baroque Cycle I’m two thirds through and mentioned in my last post, it’s the kind of sci fi trilogy you’ll like if you get a little tuned off by magic, aliens, time travel or other more fantastical aspects of the genre.

Nothing wrong with those books. But I’m at a point in my life where I need to escape but I need to do so in a realm that still feels as if it could be real.

Though I did reread some of the expanded Gunslinger last night. Trying to decide if I want to dive into the whole series or not. Part of me wants to but I also feel like despite only having read the first 2 many, many years ago I know what this is about and where it’s going. I’ve also heard the final book was big disappointment.

Maybe Bob or in the unlikely event anyone who has read them and also is reading this can actually operate the comment section below, can correct me if I’m wrong; but between having heard that King himself and some of his characters from other books appear later in the series I’ve developed an interpretation of what this is about and even how it ends. I don’t want to know how it ends if I’m wrong. But if I’m right I do want to know and save myself the trouble.

BUt it seems to me with the iconic opening line of the first book in which the man in black flees across the desert pursued by the gunslinger, or something much like that, we are meant to cycle through and return to the moment. And with Roland feeling a sense of disconnect on that first page, as if he was looking into the world from outside, it seems he’s just appeared there in that world that has moved on. So what I’m thinking is that basically we’re talking about a South Park like Imagination Land. King’s characters being there could mean it just takes place within king’s mythical world or oeuvre. But I think King himself appearing later makes this more personal.

I think this is about the world of the mind, in particular King’s mind, populated by fictional characters that have become part of our landscape as well. And that time is having it’s way with that world while it still remains on some level, blah, blah, blah.

What I’m getting at is that I think the 7th book ends with the first lines of The Gunslinger and that basically reaching The Dark Tower is just some kind of metaphor for King’s personal growth, completing these books after his accident, and that it’s some journey not the destination parable that ends where it begins and leaves the reader back at the start with a sense of the author’s motivations and the importance of fiction for fiction’s sake.

Or something.

So stop me if I’m right because I don’t need to read that.

Or if the last book is really as bad and disappointing as many make it out to be.

But I’d also appreciate correcting if I’m way off here. I don’t want to know how I’m off. Just that I’m off and by how much.

THank you for your support in this matter.

That’s Entertainment

Published on November 7, 2007 in ..The Dude, Television and The Ill-Literates. 0 Comments

TV and movie blurbs from the cyber ghetto.

There’s a writers strike on and it will effect your favorite show soon. The Office will be one of the first hit because the cast is refusing to cross the picket line.

Another reason to love their cast.

Hollywood needs to give them what they want. They deserve a larger cut of all the new media. Good actors and producers are a lot easier to find than good writers. It all starts there unless we’re going to just become a media of reality shows.

And as far as I;m concerned watching a reality show right now is akin to crossing a picket line. So go watch The Amazing Race you scabs.

Strike shouldn’t effect Heroes much because I don’t think the Manatees writing this crap are in the writers guild.

The actors who have to act this stuff should be protesting.

So on to the tv itself and we may as well start there.

I am almost done with Heroes.

Watching this show reminds me of the inertia of a bad relationship. Heroes is like a girl you date because she’s pretty. For a while the shortcomings and superficiality of things are buried under the gloss and novelty. But as time goes on you get bored and realize there is no substance to the relationship. I had hints last year but didn’t want to believe. I was lonely and she was there and looked good in a pair of jeans. But I can’t hide from the fact the relationship is a shallow one and the sex is now empty.

This kind of girl can be very popular. Look at the ratings. But judging from the internet a good deal of the many who have been in her pants are coming to the similar conclusion that there’s not much in there. Not enough to warrant how empty her head is and how little she ever changes.

Pushing Daisies I’d date though. Right here right now. But I’d be scared it was too good to last and probably sabotage things.

It’s the best new show of the season in my humble.

It’s whimsical, silly, heartwarming, sweet, arresting, well played, and visually beautiful. The novelty could wear off and I’m leery that this thing won’t hold up though. ABC recently ordered a full season while at the same time cutting it’s budget. So a dysfunctional relationship metaphor may be developing for me here as well.

But though the show can be overly cute, the way they present it with a fable like quality just really makes it ok for me. It’s kind of like The Princess Bride mixed with Edward Scissorhands without the evil Tim Burton making things too pretentious and mixing in an element of creepy ego and misunderstood genius.

Ned and Chuck have that enforced distance of Depp and Ryder in that movie and the look of things invokes many Burton movies. But no one is pretending that there’s more beneath the surface here. There is but it’s more naturalistic and sweet. Like Princess Bride. It’s a fable for fable’s sake.

The frustration between Chuck and Ned is palpable. And the acting is quite good. Chuck is possessed of that rare combo of hotness, cuteness, adorable-ness and approachability that most of us geeks want in a woman but will probably never have. She really has something going on. She’s the biggest reason I’d sate the show if I could date a show. All the supporting players, mainly 4, all have something very endearing about them. Emerson’s asides in reaction to the cuteness going on around him are usually amusing, Olive, even when singing Hopelessly Devoted To You has that wild card edge but is likable and kind, and Chuck’s Aunts are sympathetic quirky old maids.

There really is no bad guy or overarching story though. And the mystery of the week thing as Ned raises the dead to find out who killed them may get old. They still manage to do it in a fairly fun way and its rather incidental nature works. But in the long run they may have to come with some more substance or Buffyverse type thread to the season.

But the show is just plain old charming so far and even when being sentimental it works and leaves me holding back the eye sprayage.
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Chuck, the TV show.

Again, no overarching story. Seems like the same story every week. Getting old very quick.
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Journeyman is actually the best thing on NBC’s sci fi oriented slate this season. The acting is really good and despite being bogged down by the Quantum leap like story of the week as Dan saves somebody in 70′s, 80′s, and 90′s era S.F., the show is starting to incorporate some ongoing storyline threads and mythology.

But it’s still take it or leave it.
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The Office is still awesome. JIm and Pam are together and I like everything about that. For those who need relationship conflict we have the far more strange triangle of Dwight, Angela, and Andy which nevertheless has had some touching moments. This show is just so subtle and untraditional, but it makes with the funny nevertheless. And it is still doing so this season even with the hour long episodes the first month. Good to see the ratings have actually gotten better on this show.

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Bionic Woman. Can take it or leave it. Not as bad as some make it out to be. But I wouldn’t embark on a quest to get it back if it disappeared tomorrow. They should have let her use her regular accent. For the episode she used it playing an English transfer student I was so turned on I thought I would have a bionic episode in my pants. And I wasn’t bored every second Katee Sackhoff was not on screen which has sometimes been the case.

Speaking of Katee word is Galactica is being pushed back to April now. And that we might get only 10 of the final 20 episodes with the other 10 sometime in 09.

This is perhaps one of the shittiest things perpetrated on the American public in the past decade that Dick Cheney had nothing to do with.

Or did he?

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Friday Night Nights. Still good but not as good as last year. Recent events conspiring to get Taylor back to Dillon felt like a predictable cop out.

THe murder thing with Landry and Tyra isn’t a direction I would have gone in. Although Aaron Pierce may have to cover things up for his son and it’s always good when Aaron Pierce has to get involved. But Landry seems smart enough to have just taken his chance with the police. The guy had stalked her and tried to rape her in the past. Even though he was walking away Landry probably would have gotten off the hook. I know they needed something to weld her to him since, as even his own father Aaron Pierce knew, there was no way a guy like Landry was getting a girl like Tyra. But it still just added a little too much soap opera to a show pleasantly above that genres normal convections.

But her playing that look in the mirror card after Aaron pierce got all “I know what’s going on and you better stay away from my boy who has never lied to me before,” was pretty sad right after Landry had his Football moment.

And Lyla going all born again actually rings pretty true. Especially in a small Texas town. And after her transgressions it’s not a stretch that she’d retreat to some easy salvation giving her that sense of superiority at a time she was feeling her most inferior. And Tim sort of ambivalently following her into it, mostly even if unconsciously, to get back in her pants, isn’t hard to imagine having happened in such circles a million times.

Jesus freak or not lyla remains one of the hottest women on the tv right now.

And Aaron Pierce is doing a tremendous job posing as a small town cop and father while waiting for Jack Bauer to need his help stopping terrorists.

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The 24 trailer.
despite last season I’m getting a little pumped. Part of that is being ready to say goodbye to Heroes and start a new relationship in that time slot. Like returning to an old girlfriend you had some really good times with but though you’re still friends, you just drifted apart because she got a little weird there for a while last year when her dad became one of the leaders of a terrorist plot to blow up stuff in L.A. and you found out that her brother was behind all the troubles you had with her the prior year.

And then that little hotty showed up on NBC and you went for it. But now that’s almost over and the old girlfriend really was fun and is promising to get her shit worked out. And she’s hanging with your old bud Tony Almeda again and says he’s acting really different and she’s not like into him or anything but as friends we can all hang out again while she and I have all those benefits and all that.

Am i pushing tv-dating metaphors too hard?

Can you tell I haven’t had a date in a while?

Well now due to the strike 24 will not start second week in January as planned.

So I may have to pleasure myself with my own Jack Sack and Magic Hoody for a while longer.

Anyway, started Netflixing Deadwood.

After 3 shows I got to say this is really, really good. Just a few minutes into ep 2 I felt like these characters had been so well established and defined that I’d seen a dozen episodes. And the 2nd ep was just riveting. Really well acted, written, and made. What was HBO thinking? It kind of sucks knowing Swaringen is still alive as of the end of it’s third and final season. I have such a need to watch this guy suffer now. And man does he pour on the evil well. That is one scary son of a bitch.

And in an entirely plausible way which is rare.

There were rumors about wrapping things up with a couple of movies on HBO. But right now that’s going nowhere. Hopefully that will change.

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Saw Idiocracy on the cable the other night. Mike Judge made it. It’s live action satire borrowing a bit from Futurama. Luke Wilson is the most average guy in America and gets put into hybernation for a year that turns into 500 years. Due to idiots tendency to breed more than smart people with careers when he wakes up America is really stupid and he’s a genius in comparison.

It was enjoyable. If I had paid to go into a theater and see it would I have liked it as much? Not sure. But if you have the chance to catch it do so. Your host Angry Bob who though he resides in the more upscale part of this cyber neighborhood, is someone who i think would appreciate the movie.

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Saw American Gangster.

Was it just me or did Ridley Scott try and throw some Godfather references in there? Or were they just blatant ripoffs for a new and cinematically uneducated audience he was going for with this urban gangasta forerunner of much modern hip hop music, attire, and attitude?

The are thing Denzel did when he was pissed about them shooting at his wife. His walk. There was something Pacino-esque there. The way Michel seemed to develop a primal strut as the first movie went on and he became more of a killer and family man and less the college boy. Denzel seemed to have that walk from the beginning of this movie. I wonder if that was calculated or if I was just imagining things.

But it was good. Not great.

Where was he going with that Crowe speech about Lucas representing progress to the old guard Italian mob? Progress?

Really?

Change yes. Most definitely he represented a change they were not comfortable with for many reasons in addition to his race.

Although Ridley Scott doesn’t shy away from the bloodily ruined lives in Lucas’s wake. He’s glamorized to a point but it’s not quite Superfly. But in the end I’m not sure this story was that interesting to warrant a 2+ hour movie. It was worthwhile. And the authentic little 70′s era NY City touches were enjoyable for me. Even seeing those paper cups with the little wing handles on them that used to be so prevalent was pretty cool. They’re so ugly now. Most of it was. But Scott did a pretty good job capturing that feel even if he may have cut corners on the facts as some have reported but I admittedly haven’t bothered to research.
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Done with book 2 of Neil Stephenson’s Baroque Trilogy, The Confusion. Completing this series and wrapping a decent portion of my head around it has become my life’s work. I actually read the first book Quicksilver and it’s 900+ pages twice. They were a year or so apart though. I needed a refresher before going into part 2. I’m reading other books around them. Or at least parts of other books. But I will finish this thing.

Mainly because it’s good. It fulfills my geeky need for sci fi escapist trilogies while still not insulting me with implausibility. It’s really dense stuff capturing so much of what was going on in the late 17th and early 18th centuries. There’s really history there mixed with fictional characters and situations that elaborate on and draw meaning from the events that were going on. Those events included a changeover in financial systems from being land based to a more liquid commerce and credit based monetary system. The roots of our own capitalism and free market are there mixed with attendant philosophical dilemmas rooted in the conflict between Isaac Newton and Willfred Leibnitz. Part of that was the argument over calculus and who invented it. But it’s also about determinism vs free will and the mechanistic natural philosophy of the Royal Society and the Alchemy Newton clung to in order to try and continue to incorporate some magic, or hand of god in his science.

And that’s not even mentioning the 3 main characters, Daniel Waterhouse, Jack Shaftoe, and Eliza. All are interesting and smoothly interwoven into this world that includes Louis XIV’s court, the fluctuations in England’s monarchy as Charles becomes William Of Orange and the Dutch takeover after the Restoration, Barbary pirates, Solomon’s gold, and the seeds of the enlightenment being planted by real historical figures such as Huygens, Robert Hooke, and the aforementioned Newton and Leibnitz.

Really amazing stuff. I’m quite impressed with Stephenson now though there are times you really have to battle through and wonder if there could have been some more editing. But dragging things in spots isn’t without some value as it creates atmosphere and really imbibes of the period and made me feel a bit of what it was like to live in that world.

Spoiler Alert:

And the ending setting up an unforseen conflict and battle of wits between our own picaresque vagabond hero Jack vs Isaac Newton now in charge of the Royal Mint, was really pleasing.
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Oops I Posted Again!

Published on November 2, 2007 in ..The Dude, Literature, Sports and Television. 0 Comments

Some sports items from the cyber ghetto.

Joe Torre is ok but is this Yankee-Dodger thing really worthy of the superlatives and hype?

Every NY news outlet has covered every aspect of this, especially his departure from NY like the deaths of Lady Di and insert dead Kennedy name here.

Torre was just as much of a Yankee shill as the next guy at times over the years like when he backed Roger Clemens defense for throwing the bat at Piazza in game 1 of the World Series in 2000. He actually wanted us to believe he believed that juiced up herpes encrusted Baseball whore Clemens actually thought it was the ball he was throwing at Piazza for christ’s sake. And now him and other brown nosing Yankee madia shills like Mike Francessa are carrying on about Torre masterminding an enormous rebuilding of the team the past 2 years. They integrated 2 or 3 young pitchers into the mix this year. That’s not rebuilding. You don’t rebuild with a $200 million payroll full of All Stars. Give the Yanks credit for drafting guys like Joba and Hughes from a low drafting position. Part of that is having the money to go out of slot but I wish the mets had the smarts to do that. But Torre had little to do with that and it does not constitute some drastic overhaul of the roster and master rebuilding project.

I like Torre and think he did the right thing. But stop martyring the guy. He has not suffered grievance wounds. He is not Baseball’s Jesus and contrary to media opinion he is not one of the top 10 human beings to have ever walked upright.

And now thinking he brings some magical managerial acumen to L.A. is silly. Where was the magic when he managed the Mets, Braves, and Cards with average or below average payrolls? IF Arod goes with him and they get a starter they’ll be scary good. Might now be better than the Mets irregardless. But Torre, as with his Yankee days, hasn’t got that much to do with it.

He was lucky here and he’s getting lucky again now because the Dodgers do have some good young talent. Even with Arod this is a team with enough there and enough chips to move to be prime players for a while.

But the enforced resignation of their manager Grady Little seems very much in reaction to Torre’s availability. So Torre took part in manipulating for a job that another man held even while Torre talked to the Dodgers. Then after Torre accepts, Little announces he was planning on resignation? Sounds like they allowed him to save face. And Torre played the game and did this to a decent guy. He campaigned behind the scenes to take another mans job. There is strong reason to believe Little wasn’t going anywhere unless Torre or maybe Girardi was coming in. It’s considered pretty classless to lobby for someone else’s job. In my opinion it stinks as bad as anything the Yanks did to him. And yet not one media person has questioned this scenario. So trained are they to accept all things Torre and smell his shit and inhale deeply its redolent aroma.
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Seems as if MLB in conjunction with some of those whacky-ass Christians is sending mislabeled or dud team clothes to African people in need. What this means is that when stuff like championship hats and T’s get printed for a team that loses and the teams can’t sell them, they give them to poor Ghanaians. This includes division champ shirts. What this means is that there are people in Africa walking around with Mets 2007 Eastern Division Champs T shirts and hats and quite possibly believing them to be representing reality. A reality much different than ours. A reality in which the Mets did not suffer an historic and ignominious choke that let a piece of garbage team like the Phillies become the actual nL east champs before succumbing in 3 straight to a lousy Colorado team full of born agains. A team who will find out something about real Baseball in the World Series against Boston. (I wrote that before the Series started by the way and kept it in to show my genius. Actually it shows how obvious it was that the Mets are pathetic for not even getting into the playoffs as part of such an inferior league).

All the nL incompetence only exemplifies how putrid the Mets are. I mean not only couldn’t they even make the playoffs (as predicted by yours truly I might add), but they had to choke like motherfuckers in a display of incompetence, gutlessness, and stupidity virtually unmatched in Baseball history to not make those playoffs.

But in Ghana they are the Eastern champs.

And Christians continue to perpetuate lies and fantasies.

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I expect Manning and Brady to battle out mano a mano this Sunday, the 2 of them flying high above the field and having at each other the way Peter and Sylar should have last May. I know this will happen because the media is always right when they hype these things up like this. It’s never disappointing.

Disappointing like a motherfucker.

Go Colts!

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2 championships in 4 years for the Red Sox and yet we still have gravity and linear time. THe earth has not opened up.

This may be because of the anti curse of Alex Rodriguez. When he almost went to Boston before the 04 season but wound up with the Yanks, something happened. Reverse the curse. The curse of Payrod was born. And it was best symbolized in game 6 of the alcs as the yanks were undergoing an historic collapse of their own blowing a 3 zip lead to their archrivals. Gayrod tried to slap the ball out of Bronson Arroyo’s glove running down the 1st baseline. It was truly a moment. Seeing him with his hand open and bent so gaily in its little girl posture was revelatory.

And now he is gone seeking a 10 year deal worth around $30 million a year. And the Sox win again.

This will probably help the Yanks. Wherever Arod has gone bad things generally happen and when he leaves teams traditionally get better. Jon Stewart said it to David Wright on The daily Show the other night while asking Wright if he’d switch positions for His Gayness. He said his karma is bad and he infects teams in a bad way. Called him the Dick Cheney of Baseball.

The Mets could have had him 6 years ago. They passed because they thought his demands for things like a personal tent, plane, offices, etc were selfish and that he was a 24 and 1 type of guy on a team. So now that he’s 32 and most likely headed into his non prime years we’re going to talk to his agent.

Typical Mets.

Welcome to Losersville Arod. You’ll fit right in here.

But odds are he’ll go West. NY is too much for this guy. He needs California Baseball to pursue his records in. That’s all he really cares about anyway. Announcing his departure during the final game of the World Series was another indicator of what this guy is all about. Himself. MLB chastised him for that. He upstaged the WS. A big no-no in Baseball. But that’s Arod and his agent Scott Boras.

Detroit and Florida could be wild cards here. He’s from Florida. Big surprise there being flat, glossy, artificial and without personality as he is. Detroit might not be close enough to celebrities for him. God knows it’s not for Torre who could only go to LA with NY out of the picture. That guy needs star approval to bask in like a dog needs to be pet.

Arod is damn good. But 10 years? And how much do the stats make up for his blatantly insincere and phony personality? He’s karmically challenged like a motherfucker.

But after the choke the Mets do need to start making some bold moves and there’s no pitching out there they can get. Getting him would put them in the national spotlight and consciousness in a way they haven’t really been. That’s a place only Boston and the Yanks have really occupied. And breaking Bonds HR record at out new stadium some day as he’s capable of doing at this point would help give Citifield an identity apart from the mostly crappy I.D. Shea has. And whatever his faults he’s no Barry Bonds. There wold be a lot more goodwill surrounding his chase of the record. It would likely be much more celebrated if only because it removes Bonds from the top. There would be a more auspicious air about the whole thing that the Mets have never been a part of.

But who cares if you don’t win and committing that much payroll to one guy is never a good way to go about winning championships. If you do you got to be prepared to go somewhere in between Red Sox-Yankee levels of payroll and fuck the rules like they do. i’m not sure I want the Mets to do that but i also don’t want to watch them become more and more obsolete again.

So though I lean away from Slappy McSlappicuddy I’m not ruling it out as something I’d do. But I would be more inclined towards it if he were the one switching positions and not Wright. Wright will get killed at 2nd. He doesn’t have the body type to play there and turn the deuce. Arod at 1st eventually is the only way I see things working out and I don’t think that’s going to happen.