I want to talk about a word. A compound word I guess a truly literate savant might call it. It’s become a much used piece of slang and profanity. Slanganity. It marks an evolution of the classic “fuck,” which was flexible and universal in it’s applicability and appeal. It too functions as verb, noun, or adverb and can be used in positive or negative modes to convey so many ranges of emotion.
And yet it doesn’t make sense.
The word is motherfucker.
Despite not making sense I still use it constantly now as if it does. Because it feels right. It’s irrationality only seems to make it more appropriate. And truthful. Like love.
Like a motherfucker.
That’s how it’s usually used. As a simile. “He hit that ball like a motherfucker.” “I’m gonna hit that ass like a motherfucker.” We gonna do this diner like a motherfucker.”
You see how crazy it is.
It’s more than a word though. It’s an idea. It’s the new fuck as far as I’m concerned. A catchall expression for our times. But what is it that makes me love and use this expression so much? I mean I use it everywhere and all the time. It has become the universal analogy. Like a motherfucker. “That song rocks like a motherfucker.”
It can be bad too.
That’s some motherfucking bullshit right there.
The Mets choked like some big old motherfuckers.
But how many of us really know any motherfuckers?
Or what one is really like?
One who fucks their mother would seem to not be something so worthy of comparison. Someone that so many cool things can be paralleled to. And yet motherfucker has become the analogy of coolness to many. Not just myself. What does this say? What does it mean?
It’s stupid like a motherfucker.
You see sometimes it does make sense!
Fucking your mother would be stupid. So being stupid like one is right on target. It hits the spot.
Hits it like a motherfucker.
See?
Now it doesn’t make sense again.
I use this term in some form or other quite regularly now. At work, at home, in my car. Especially at work. I do those time sheets like a motherfucker. I watch as the cats attack that bird like motherfuckers. I return e mails to motherfuckers though I still use their legal names. I make a meat sauce fettucine like a motherfucker. We get in and out of Home Depot like a motherfucker.
And yet I have no idea if a man who fucks his mother makes a good meat sauce for his fettucine.
Or a woman for that matter, though I’m not quite sure it can be faithfully dubbed motherfucking when a mother and daughter try and do it.
Do male or female fuckers of their mothers do paperwork like I do it?
Do they rock like the Jerry Cantrelle solo album I discovered this past Summer rocks? Because it rocks like a motherfucker as I’ve noted on quite few occasions.
It’s all some motherfucking crazy ass bullshit.
But I got to go. The Red sox are finished beating the Rockies limp asses like a motherfucker and I want to watch Pushing Daisies. THat show kicks TV ass like a motherfucker it does.
Like a motherfucker.
That’s all I’m going to say about this for now.
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