Cheney was near a terrorist bombing and survived. I can’t overexaggerate how much this disappointed me to hear. About the surviving I mean. That and a Republican memo and W’s stupid wife, now on Ill-literates.com!

First on the Stepford Wife. Laura has already shown us just how vapid and useless her brain is but on Larry King last night she gave us more. Here’s a sampling:

And many parts of Iraq are stable now. But, of course, what we see on television is the one bombing a day that discourages everybody.

Isn’t 1 enough? These aren’t multivitamins you prick. And 34 of them have actually gone off this week. Apparently she’s as good at math as her husband is at human speech. And even when just one goes off people die. But we wouldn’t want her to get too negative would we?

When asked how she and W cope with Iraq this ivory tower whore had this exchange with the always insipid and vastly overrated interviewer, King:
We go to church. We exercise together, we watch movies together. We do all the other things that — watch baseball on television, for instance — that we both find relaxing.

KING: Do you — do you talk about it a lot?

BUSH: We talk about it a lot. I mean, we live it.

NO YOU DON”T!

People actually there live it. Their families live it to a large extent. You are living nothing but the closeted life of your mother in law who among other contemptible proofs of her isolation and disregard once said that the New Orleans refugees were living the high life getting out of all those lousy areas they come from.

I guess you have to be a bit daft and clueless to live your life alongside His Impedimence, incurious George, but just shut up. At least Hillary had a clue what was going on while being married to the President. Just be Mrs Stupid, nod and smile at foreign dignitaries at balls and galas, and then go home and masturbate to Michael Moore.
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Mitt Romney is running for Pres on the Republican ticket. If you ever had any doubts about how politicians are handled, how phony their campaign spiels and images are, or how conservatives don’t really believe in anything, take a look at these power point presentation slides recently leaked from the Romney campaign. They detail his campaign strategies and pitfalls to avoid that include his hair being too perfect. Quotes are from the Boston Globe

The plan, for instance, indicates that Romney will define himself in part by focusing on and highlighting enemies and adversaries, such common political targets as “jihadism,” the “Washington establishment,” and taxes, but also Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, “European-style socialism,” and, specifically, France. Even Massachusetts, where Romney has lived for almost 40 years, is listed as one of those “bogeymen,” alongside liberalism and Hollywood values.

And Romney has already been out there echoing his handlers suggestions. Even on the France thing. France? Think about that. Using the name France and referencing how screwed up they are is actually a part of his strategy to get elected. You expect Hillary and liberalism. Hack right wing classics of diversionary strategy. BUt let the France thing go already.

The tell him the talking points studies show will give him a chance and he repeats them. He’s already been at echoing some of these.

The blueprint also describes political assets and vulnerabilities of McCain and Giuliani, who lead Romney in the polls.

McCain is described as a war hero and maverick with a compelling narrative and a reputation for wit, authenticity, and straight talk. But he’s also seen as “too Washington,” “too close to [Democratic] Left,” an “uncertain, erratic, unreliable leader in uncertain times.” “Does he fit The Big Chair?” the document asks. The plan calls McCain, 70, a “mature brand” and raises questions about whether he could handle the rigors of leading the free world.

“Brand.” It’s all product and it’s about buying and selling. Not only do they say what they are supposed to say but the people who tell them what to say don’t give a damn about anything but selling product.

Giuliani is called an outside-the-Beltway rock star and truth teller who earned the nation’s trust for his leadership of New York City’s response to the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. But he is described as a one-dimensional Lone Ranger whose social views — he supports abortion rights and civil unions for gay couples — could destroy the “GOP brand.” “We can’t disqualify Dems like Hillary on social issues ever again” if Giuliani is the nominee, the document states.

The plan also touches on what it calls Giuliani’s ethical issues, including his relationship with Bernard Kerik , former New York police commissioner who withdrew from consideration to become US homeland security secretary amid allegations of improprieties. It raises Giuliani’s “personal political liabilities,” an apparent reference to his three marriages and bitter public divorce from his second wife, Donna Hanover.

There’s that brand word again. And notice how “truth teller,” almost sounds like a curse word coming from these guys?

It is clear that Romney’s campaign operatives plan to make sure that voters are familiar with the perceived weaknesses of McCain and Giuliani and conduct opposition research on the candidates. But the campaign, according to the blueprint, also wants to avoid attacking either man too directly or harshly, in part because Romney wants their supporters to ultimately shift to him. At a campaign stop in New Hampshire last week, he called McCain and Giuliani friends and national heroes.

Even when they’re nice it’s calculated.

Enmity toward France, where Romney did his Mormon mission during college, is a recurring theme of the document. The European Union, it says at one point, wants to “drag America down to Europe’s standards,” adding: “That’s where Hillary and Dems would take us. Hillary = France.” The plan even envisions “First, not France” bumper stickers.

Hillary = France? Did Laura Bush do these calculations?

But this is my favorite part of this Republican’s strategy to succeed Bush:

Like every Republican in the race, Romney faces the delicate task of how to talk about President Bush, whom the country gives low job-approval ratings .

But the plan lists two ways Romney can set himself apart from Bush. The first says, simply, “Intelligence.”

That’s pretty funny right there.

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Huffington Post. Cheney made an unscheduled visit to military base in Afghanistan. And the Taliban tried to blow it up. Reportedly, at least according to the Taliban whom on a Web site used by militants said “a mujahid … carried out a suicide attack in front of the second gate of the Bagram Air Base. … The target was Bush’s vice president, Dick Cheney.”

“We knew that Dick Cheney would be staying inside the base.” “The attacker was trying to reach Cheney.”

Makes me kind of want to go all John Walker Lindh.

Say what you want about the Taliban: They’re harsh on women, controlled by a hateful religion, have bad hygiene, whatever. But these guys know how to choose a Vice Presidential target to try and kill. If only they were better at it.

I’m not kidding.

When I heard this I jumped out of my seat waving my arm out of frustration because someone got close but failed. But I should have known. He’s immortal. It’s part of his deal with The Lord Of Lies. But it’s unfair to tease me this way.

DAMN YOU TALIBAN!

How you tease.

Cheney said they tried to blow him up because, “I think they clearly try to find ways to question the authority of the central government.”

I think he’s wrong here. I think they want to find ways to blow Dick Cheney up. They are not alone and I think in this shared common ground perhaps many Americans who would also like to blow Dick Cheney up and the Taliban can come together. We have this bond now. They’ve been humanized just a bit and that’s the first step towards working out your shit with people.

They didn’t actually come that close but they did kill a bunch of other people Just how many is under dispute. Afghani officials say 23 people were killed, including 20 Afghan workers at the base. Another 20 people were injured, they said.

NATO’s ISAF said initial reports were that three people were killed, including a U.S. soldier, an American contractor and a South Korean soldier.

AP reporters at the scene saw 12 bodies.

A Major there noted that Cheney’s overnight stay occurred only after a meeting with Karzai was canceled because of bad weather and that the Taliban couldn’t have been targeting Cheney. “The vice president wasn’t even supposed to be here overnight, so this would have been a surprise to everybody.”

If had been worse for Dick do you think he would have pulled a Dante and been all, “I wasn’t even supposed to be here today?”

By the by: When Bush was told the first thing he asked was how Cheney was. This according to Tony Snow. Snow did not say whether or not Bush expressed interest in anyone else dying.