Monthly Archive for February, 2007

Romney’s Hair, W’s Stepford Wife, And Satan’s Little Helper Lives On

Published on February 27, 2007 in ..The Dude, Politics and The Ill-Literates. 0 Comments

Cheney was near a terrorist bombing and survived. I can’t overexaggerate how much this disappointed me to hear. About the surviving I mean. That and a Republican memo and W’s stupid wife, now on Ill-literates.com!

First on the Stepford Wife. Laura has already shown us just how vapid and useless her brain is but on Larry King last night she gave us more. Here’s a sampling:

And many parts of Iraq are stable now. But, of course, what we see on television is the one bombing a day that discourages everybody.

Isn’t 1 enough? These aren’t multivitamins you prick. And 34 of them have actually gone off this week. Apparently she’s as good at math as her husband is at human speech. And even when just one goes off people die. But we wouldn’t want her to get too negative would we?

When asked how she and W cope with Iraq this ivory tower whore had this exchange with the always insipid and vastly overrated interviewer, King:
We go to church. We exercise together, we watch movies together. We do all the other things that — watch baseball on television, for instance — that we both find relaxing.

KING: Do you — do you talk about it a lot?

BUSH: We talk about it a lot. I mean, we live it.

NO YOU DON”T!

People actually there live it. Their families live it to a large extent. You are living nothing but the closeted life of your mother in law who among other contemptible proofs of her isolation and disregard once said that the New Orleans refugees were living the high life getting out of all those lousy areas they come from.

I guess you have to be a bit daft and clueless to live your life alongside His Impedimence, incurious George, but just shut up. At least Hillary had a clue what was going on while being married to the President. Just be Mrs Stupid, nod and smile at foreign dignitaries at balls and galas, and then go home and masturbate to Michael Moore.
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Mitt Romney is running for Pres on the Republican ticket. If you ever had any doubts about how politicians are handled, how phony their campaign spiels and images are, or how conservatives don’t really believe in anything, take a look at these power point presentation slides recently leaked from the Romney campaign. They detail his campaign strategies and pitfalls to avoid that include his hair being too perfect. Quotes are from the Boston Globe

The plan, for instance, indicates that Romney will define himself in part by focusing on and highlighting enemies and adversaries, such common political targets as “jihadism,” the “Washington establishment,” and taxes, but also Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, “European-style socialism,” and, specifically, France. Even Massachusetts, where Romney has lived for almost 40 years, is listed as one of those “bogeymen,” alongside liberalism and Hollywood values.

And Romney has already been out there echoing his handlers suggestions. Even on the France thing. France? Think about that. Using the name France and referencing how screwed up they are is actually a part of his strategy to get elected. You expect Hillary and liberalism. Hack right wing classics of diversionary strategy. BUt let the France thing go already.

The tell him the talking points studies show will give him a chance and he repeats them. He’s already been at echoing some of these.

The blueprint also describes political assets and vulnerabilities of McCain and Giuliani, who lead Romney in the polls.

McCain is described as a war hero and maverick with a compelling narrative and a reputation for wit, authenticity, and straight talk. But he’s also seen as “too Washington,” “too close to [Democratic] Left,” an “uncertain, erratic, unreliable leader in uncertain times.” “Does he fit The Big Chair?” the document asks. The plan calls McCain, 70, a “mature brand” and raises questions about whether he could handle the rigors of leading the free world.

“Brand.” It’s all product and it’s about buying and selling. Not only do they say what they are supposed to say but the people who tell them what to say don’t give a damn about anything but selling product.

Giuliani is called an outside-the-Beltway rock star and truth teller who earned the nation’s trust for his leadership of New York City’s response to the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. But he is described as a one-dimensional Lone Ranger whose social views — he supports abortion rights and civil unions for gay couples — could destroy the “GOP brand.” “We can’t disqualify Dems like Hillary on social issues ever again” if Giuliani is the nominee, the document states.

The plan also touches on what it calls Giuliani’s ethical issues, including his relationship with Bernard Kerik , former New York police commissioner who withdrew from consideration to become US homeland security secretary amid allegations of improprieties. It raises Giuliani’s “personal political liabilities,” an apparent reference to his three marriages and bitter public divorce from his second wife, Donna Hanover.

There’s that brand word again. And notice how “truth teller,” almost sounds like a curse word coming from these guys?

It is clear that Romney’s campaign operatives plan to make sure that voters are familiar with the perceived weaknesses of McCain and Giuliani and conduct opposition research on the candidates. But the campaign, according to the blueprint, also wants to avoid attacking either man too directly or harshly, in part because Romney wants their supporters to ultimately shift to him. At a campaign stop in New Hampshire last week, he called McCain and Giuliani friends and national heroes.

Even when they’re nice it’s calculated.

Enmity toward France, where Romney did his Mormon mission during college, is a recurring theme of the document. The European Union, it says at one point, wants to “drag America down to Europe’s standards,” adding: “That’s where Hillary and Dems would take us. Hillary = France.” The plan even envisions “First, not France” bumper stickers.

Hillary = France? Did Laura Bush do these calculations?

But this is my favorite part of this Republican’s strategy to succeed Bush:

Like every Republican in the race, Romney faces the delicate task of how to talk about President Bush, whom the country gives low job-approval ratings .

But the plan lists two ways Romney can set himself apart from Bush. The first says, simply, “Intelligence.”

That’s pretty funny right there.

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Huffington Post. Cheney made an unscheduled visit to military base in Afghanistan. And the Taliban tried to blow it up. Reportedly, at least according to the Taliban whom on a Web site used by militants said “a mujahid … carried out a suicide attack in front of the second gate of the Bagram Air Base. … The target was Bush’s vice president, Dick Cheney.”

“We knew that Dick Cheney would be staying inside the base.” “The attacker was trying to reach Cheney.”

Makes me kind of want to go all John Walker Lindh.

Say what you want about the Taliban: They’re harsh on women, controlled by a hateful religion, have bad hygiene, whatever. But these guys know how to choose a Vice Presidential target to try and kill. If only they were better at it.

I’m not kidding.

When I heard this I jumped out of my seat waving my arm out of frustration because someone got close but failed. But I should have known. He’s immortal. It’s part of his deal with The Lord Of Lies. But it’s unfair to tease me this way.

DAMN YOU TALIBAN!

How you tease.

Cheney said they tried to blow him up because, “I think they clearly try to find ways to question the authority of the central government.”

I think he’s wrong here. I think they want to find ways to blow Dick Cheney up. They are not alone and I think in this shared common ground perhaps many Americans who would also like to blow Dick Cheney up and the Taliban can come together. We have this bond now. They’ve been humanized just a bit and that’s the first step towards working out your shit with people.

They didn’t actually come that close but they did kill a bunch of other people Just how many is under dispute. Afghani officials say 23 people were killed, including 20 Afghan workers at the base. Another 20 people were injured, they said.

NATO’s ISAF said initial reports were that three people were killed, including a U.S. soldier, an American contractor and a South Korean soldier.

AP reporters at the scene saw 12 bodies.

A Major there noted that Cheney’s overnight stay occurred only after a meeting with Karzai was canceled because of bad weather and that the Taliban couldn’t have been targeting Cheney. “The vice president wasn’t even supposed to be here overnight, so this would have been a surprise to everybody.”

If had been worse for Dick do you think he would have pulled a Dante and been all, “I wasn’t even supposed to be here today?”

By the by: When Bush was told the first thing he asked was how Cheney was. This according to Tony Snow. Snow did not say whether or not Bush expressed interest in anyone else dying.

The J.C. Trinity

Published on February 26, 2007 in ..The Dude, Politics, Religion and The Ill-Literates. 0 Comments

J.C. as in James Cameron, and Jesus Christ. Cameron claims to have found Jesus tomb along with those of his family and son. The other J.C.? John Connor, as in can he go back in time to stop Cameron before killing his career or destroying Christianity?

James Cameron is making a documentary reporting to offer evidence that tombs uncovered near Jerusalem in 1980 are indeed those of Jesus and his family. They include a son’s casket supposedly reading “Judah Son of Jesus,” along with the two Mary’s of note, the cuckold Joseph, and more.

Not sure how I feel about this. Cameron is taking alot of heat from both Christians and non-Christians. Alot of people seem to be collectively cringing over this as if Cameron has the C word in front of someone whose awaiting biopsy results.

For me I guess it depends on what his overall point is and what kind of proof he offers. On the surface this would seem to be an attempt at the debunking of Christian myth such as that dealing with the resurrection and Jesus’s lack of fornicating with mere humans. I’m all on board for that kind of thing. Debunking all that crap I mean. Not fornicating with humans. Humans are dirty and squirt fluids. I prefer to fornicate with cherubim.

Anyway alot of people are already getting their cossacks into a bunch because of Cameron’s temerity and hubris but that plays into the whole problem with religion for me. OK not the whole problem. Religion has many problems. But one of them is that they are the ones of great temerity and hubris, not to mention terrible and wanton arrogance. But they’ve been at it so long and have been in a position of power and privilege for so long it is considered hubris to oppose them and they keep getting away with calling those of us who call them on their fantastical ravings arrogant. It is no different than any other entrenched institution lashing back no matter how right or wrong they are. It’s not far off the whole right wing approach to debate. Just call the enemy what you yourself practice so you steal truth and deligitimize the criticism.

No wonder Christianity and this generation of Republicans have been so intertwined and made such perfectly matched bedfellows despite all the pragmatic reasons for them not to be. Neither party is pragmatic. Pragmatism is one of the founding principles this country was built on. Probably more so than on religion. But both neo-cons and the religious are about passions and truthiness. It’s ego gratification to put their passions and loose associations with truth and facts on a higher ground. Build it and they will come. And once they’re there they’ll look up to you and play along because you’re making it easy on them.

Taking on religion has been blasphemous for a long, long time. It is sacrosanct and it does not deserve to be merely because so many people believe it. I’m not of the mind that people deserve respect no matter what. We go around trying so hard to respect people’s beliefs as if their beliefs were cancer. That or some hard won, battled for, spilled blood for, amazing achievement of human intelligence, fortitude, and courage.

It is none of those things. It is the well-worn path. The one most taken. And its tenets and dogma require only slightly more effort to encompass than the automatic respectability and honor it affords. People deserve respect for what they do not for what they believe. It absolutely floors me when I see the media bend over backwards to cater to people for what they believe while nothing else is sacred to them. The priorities are out of whack. If what someone believes can’t stand some scrutiny it should be the least respected thing about that person. Respect their humanity, their rights, their job, even their pets. But what people believe needs to be out there with a big red target and may the beliefs that stand up to scrutiny win.

But I doubt this Cameron Jesus tomb thing is going to accomplish any of that. What DNA testing can really prove something like this? Without DNA from known living relatives to compare it to I’m not sure how Cameron can make a real argument. i know there is more that will be used from other disciplines including archeology but without the forensics this is just going to create alot of anger and nastiness. And there are many noted scientists and archeologists already debunking Cameron’s proofs. The translation of the Jesus tomb has been called into question as has other information. And this is the only kind of thing that should matter in the debate. The only thing that the media should look. But of course it will be mostly about the bible stories as if that and the numerous people who believe it constitute proof unto themselves.

So now due to the limited ability of media and masses to hold to contrary thoughts in their heads at once or recognize that just because A isn’t equal to B or C that doesn’t mean that A isn’t equal to C, once Cameron is blown out of the water (Titanic reference), this will somehow be twisted into furthering the cause and claims of Christianity.

So if that’s waht Cameron wants he’s going to do the opposite.

And if what he wants is to show that Jesus was real (since I don’t believe there are remains they could still claim a resurrection I guess), he’s adding nothing to the discourse.

And odds are he’s going to take alot more heat if this thing gets more publicity. Much of it will be political and cut across the already deep divides separating many of us from each other. And with all the anger and protectiveness religion imbues its followers with Cameron could get himself hurt.

On the other hand if he has something I’m the first to back the truth no matter who it offends or upsets. Some say that it’s not worth trying to take faith from people as if faith is a thing itself. I don’t see it that way. Faith is a word used to cover ones ignorance. It has been a tool used to pry open doors to atrocities and to hide behind. But the early indicators is that Cameron and his team are stretching things to get Jesus and his family out of the evidence at hand. If so then Cameron should just let a sleeping dog lie and not be yet another to give time and energy to an unworthy focus thereby making more of a man than he was and thusly elevating him yet further above the failure he and his followers really were and are.

Where’s John Connor and his Terminator when we need them.

Cell Phone Rules And My Solemn Vow

Published on February 22, 2007 in ..The Dude, Irritations, Life and The Ill-Literates. 3 Comments

I finally gave in and purchased a cell phone today. I did it mainly due to work and being an assistant manager (or Ass Man), but I also want to get some fun private usage out of this puppy so that I might continue to feel self important and popular in and out of work. So I’m encouraging all phone handy people to call me at 845 ******* even if they have nothing to say.

Even if you just want to talk dirty to me by all means call.* Even when I’m at work. Preferably when I’m at work. I want to put the ass into Ass Man and together we can do that at 845 *******. If you just want to call to celebrate me I won’t be offended and will celebrate right along with you.

Just want to hear my voice?

I don’t blame you. And I will let you hear it. Especially on weekends and after 9 p.m.

I’ll let you hear my voice m-f before 9 as well but I do have a regular phone at home and at work so lets not overdue it here since I’ve got something like 500 minutes during those weekday hours every month.

This brings me to my vow. I think there should be rules when it comes to cell phone usage. I got into some of my issues with this on a blog of mine that proved so wildly popular people were too entertained and intimidated to comment on it. Except dear Brandon of course who is not allowed to call me to talk dirty unless Lost or Battlestar Gallactica and Grace Park somehow tie into it.

But it touched on my first and most important rule. Which is to not have conversations so that everyone around me can hear me in public places.

Unless we’re talking dirty.

In which case I’ll be putting you on speaker phone you nasty, nasty girl you.

I promise not to become one of those people sitting in Barnes & Noble around others who are reading and sharing every detail of their lives as if there was no phone between them and the person on the other end and they feel they have to really belt it out.

I won’t walk up and down aisles in stores speaking so loudly everyone in the store, or even the aisle knows what I’m up to. They don’t care and I respect that about them.

The second rule that I promise to abide by is to not hold a finger up to anyone trying to talk to me while I’m on the phone. You know. Sticking up the index finger to signal they’ll be with you in a minute. Even though i’m deaf in the ear that will be exposed I won’t do that to people. This I promise.

I’m not making any promises about the middle finger though.

3rd Rule. No talking while on line or dealing with the public like at a counter at the supermarket. I won’t go through being being checked out while ignoring the person ringing up my purchase. This contemptuous crap is appalling and a breakdown of the rules of living in a society. I will not do this. No I will save my contempt for those in the public who have different political and religious views from me like our hominid founding fathers did when they settled this great land and did so without cell phones instead having to rely on witchcraft to communicate with each other.

4th Rule. I will not leave my ringer on when in a movie theater, restaurant, class, brothel, or any other place where people are trying to get a little privacy.

5. I will not spend my time when with people I know, like, or am attracted to, playing with my cell phone. This goes on far too much. People can’t keep their hands off these things in public. Stay home and play with your phone if that’s what you want to do. Don’t spend dinner with me or time at work playing with yourself. These things aren’t that fascinating. I kind of am. Get with the program. #

Rule 6. I pledge to not use the photo and video elements of my phone to take unsolicited photos of people, stick them under girls skirts, or ruin the careers of famous people with footage of them going on racists rants, dropping their babies, or any such salacious footage bound to excite the E Network.

This is all for now as far as rules. I believe these should be all be set into law. Perhaps at another time I’ll get into what the punishment should be for violating these rules.

Notice I didn’t put a rule in against talking while driving. This is because I did this on my way home an hour or so after buying it tonight. Otherwise this would have been a rule too. I’m not encouraging it. I’d prefer most of you don’t do it. I on the other hand have exceptional instincts, reflexes, and hand eye coordination and can handle this. I won’t do it in traffic though. Mainly open road. It gets boring driving you know. The cops may be able to ticket me but they can’t make you and me stop talking dirty to each other babies.*

Have a nice day.

* Women only on the dirty, dirty talk please.

#The phone is new to me so bear in mind I may play with it around you a little at first. Do not take offense. IF you are a women you may still talk to dirty to me at these times.

The Prince And The Obama Press.

Published on February 22, 2007 in ..The Dude, Politics and The Ill-Literates. 0 Comments

In another example of the Brits being better than us Prince Harry is going to Iraq. He’s following in the tradition of his father and grandfather who served in similar capacity. This differs from our tradion of chickenhawk pieces of shite like Cheney, one of a long line of warmongers using the military to further their political agendas while they and their families evade service.

Harry probably won’t see major action but he is a Troop Commander and has trained to command 11 soldiers and four Scimitar tanks so I don’t think he’ll be hiding in a bunker either.

This comes on the heels of Britain announcing a drawdown of troops leading to getting out in 2008. Latvia and some of other smaller countries like poland are following suit. Kindasleezy Rice said this was a sign of how good things were going in Iraq.

You know? That they felt they could leave now. Just not enough to do anymore what with the end of civil war and sectarian violence, the lack of ethnic cleansing, the draught between soldiers dying, the autonomous Iraqi police force running so efficiently, and the fully functioning democracy.

Nothing to see here people.

I bet she tells boyfriends she’s never masturbated too.
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Click here
to see a compilation of Faux News propaganda attempt to get an early start at undermining and mischaracterizing Obama. They’ve been going on about such things as his middle name being Hussein, his smoking cigerettes, and his time in Muslim school which they exaggerated.

I think maybe they’re a wee bit scared.

But they are laying off Hillary who herself seems more focused on criticizing Obama than the Bush administration or war. Besides this making her more dead to me than she was, and I think ultimately hurting her already doomed campaign, I think this is because Faux feels the same way I do about her chances. They want her clearing the Democratic field because like me, despite her overwhelming lead in the polls, Faux has gotten one thing right. Hillary Clinton has a snowballs chance in Dick Cheney’s office of getting anywhere near the White House ever again.

Unlike me I don’t think they believe she will be decimated in the Primaries. No one believes that. She has a huge lead in the polls I hear. Clear frontrunner. Obama is the only one with a shot and he’s still far behind if gaining.

Forget all that. She will barely get out of Iowa and N Hampshire a year from now. I’m probably going to be wrong about this but I’m sticking to it. Her campaign is an illusion.

And it seems Hollywood is very torn between her and their new wonderboy Barack. All this glitterati attention he’s been getting lately might actually hurt rhim. He’d better cut down on the gala fundraisers and hanging out with Spielberg and Aniston. Or Steviffer. Remember there are alot of loony hypocrits in the South and Midwest who hate Hollywood and all it represents even as they go see its mostly lousy movies and mimic fashions and trends hollywood advertises. So do the rest of us but we don’t then run around giving them the evil eye because they’re cock blocking Jesus.

But accept for the Hollywood stuff all this does kind of make me want to root for the guy. Even CNN pulled that Osama instead of Obama thing. So alot of people are scared of him. Of course that could mean he’ll wind up like MLK or Bobby Kennedy if he does get the nomination and looks like he could win.

But even that could be a nice wake up call for this country that sooner or later will get its reason to do as LBJ once feared they would and jump the fences and lynch their President.

But check out the link above. Amazing and important issues raised there like “would you vote for a smoker?” And Faux News is the self imposed “Home of the 2008 election,” as the disgusting puss brained blonde on the video points out at least twice.

Winter Blues

Published on February 15, 2007 in ..The Dude and The Ill-Literates. 1 Comment

Baby it’s cold outside.

It’s friggin February though so why the fuss? Seriously one snowstorm and some freezing weather and everyone starts getting all apocalyptic. Relax. Shoveling is good for your health and Mets training camp has opened. Oh my god is this post turning into Confessions Of A Mets fan XV or whatever Roman numeral I left off at last October? Will I mention Lost, Jack Bauer, Anna Nicile Smith, Idol, Cheney, Van Halen, or other relevant pop cultural topics. To find out you must read on.

It might but right now back to the snow.

So I go into Hannaford Tuesday to pick up a few things as I’m wont to do, whatever wont means in that context. Or is it want to do? Do I want to do it. Or wont I? I don’t understand this.

Anyway.

I get there and the place is just crawling with crazies rushing around hording supplies and making a number of long lines. So I say to myself, “self, there must be a snowstorm coming because this is how people always overreact to snowstorms though most of them have been through countless.” And despite being through countless, none of which presumably secluded them from civilization for weeks on end, they always act like they’re prepping the fallout shelters for the day after tomorrow. I have visions of them running home to Jason Robards or making urgent phone calls to Jake Gyllenhall to get him to come home before dad has to walk 500 miles through New Arctica to get him out of a library.

They kind of also reminded me of the denizens of South Park frantically scrambling to run from Global Warming which chased them down in the streets leaving those it caught in twitching and writhing messes on the streets.

So I’m strolling around the store looking at people with amusement as they scurry to secure their Perfect Storm supplies and run and huddle in their homes with their pets and or loved ones praying that Jesus will come but just not quite yet.

Seriously. Do people hear a storm is coming and then suddenly realize they may get hungry during it? Do people only shop for a day or two at a time and not want to go out until the roads are cleared? I don’t get it. They are not getting trapped in their homes for days on end. Why do they have to go all scrambling for supplies on my semi-regular day to pick up stuff?

David Wright is in camp early and pitchers are long tossing people!

Calm the fuck down!

As far as that semi-regular shopping day thing goes I must pause for comment since my patterns are getting a bit out of whack lately. If you read my Ass Man post you know I’ve taken on a different situation at work. If you’re like most people you don’t care. Why should you? That’s a families job. I’ll get to that point in a moment.

The job has included non steady hours that are fluid and flexible. This is both good and bad. I’ve still been working the occasional 3-11 but with a mix of 7-3 and 1-9′s thrown in on shifting days. It’s kind of cool actually. I have evenings available I’m not used to having available regularly. This work week which started today (Thursday), will have me working no later than 8 on any day. That’s Sunday. The other 4 I’m out at 3 or in tomorrow’s case around 4:30 since I’m going in at 8:30 now that we have a new part timer starting. I’ll get to do more of that 8-9 a.m. check in time more which is nice. My eves are mainly weekend oriented but with that flex to often be out at 7, 8, or 9.

This might not seem interesting or noteworthy to you but after the comparatively rigid steadiness of being at work until 11 or 12 at least 3 nights a week with an overnight thrown in fairly often, for the better part of a decade, it’s interesting to me. It’s a break from routine and the old demands of the job and affords me a break from redundancy and some old job stresses. They’re still there along with some new ones but it’s more mixed now. All this is nice.

So why don’t I feel happier?

Well I’m a sick and twisted man who might be clinically incapable of experiencing happiness. I can’t help dwell on the negatives of all this. At least part of the time. Part of me misses old routine and its steadying effects. I certainly miss Granite IRA where I transferred from in order to take this promotion. I fit in better there as far as sharing a wavelength with staff, residents, and management. We got each other as much as can be expected in this job and area. None of those groups are all that bad where I am now at Neighborhood IRA but that easy humor, loose insouciance, casual asides, and laid back atmosphere at the last place is missed. I even volunteered to work there this past Monday when a staff of mine had to go to cover them in their temp abode in Rhinebeck. As an Ass Man I don’t have to do that. This woman didn’t want to go. But I didn’t do it to be nice to her. She’s a pathological liar. I don’t do nice things for liars unless it’s professionally fair. I wanted to relax a bit in a safer environment. I don’t have alot of family so I guess it’s nice feeling a measure of it at work even if it’s a very disjointed family that only gets together for 8 hour shifts for the most part. At least we had each others back with no agenda.

And then there is the fact that the extra evening time reminds me of all that that is missing to complete this picture of comparative normalcy. Maybe if it was spring or I lived closer to the city it wouldn’t be as bad. But up here, at this time of year, it just magnifies that whole “you’re pathetically alone during primetime hours people are huddling together during to escape overhyped storms you always wanted more of!” thing. That and the lacking family to whine about your day to or get sympathy from. rR applause or pat on the back when appropriate. So part of me wishes I were getting more sleep and working later if there’s nothing to do anyway. Might as well get full rest which I’m not getting now. I’m seriously thinking of moving down closer to the city at some point down the road. It’s not that I want to anymore but that I might need to. It’s like that Chilli Peppers song “the city she loves me, lonely as I am, together we cry.” Kiedis is talking about L.A. But Manhattan too is an entitity, a companion, an invigorating and comforting distraction.

And I do have a couple of cousins in Yonkers still. Having people is nice. And as I said family has to care. Or at least act like they do. Argue together or die alone. I’m seriously not looking for sympathy here. I’m not big on sympathy. I don’t handle it well just as I don’t handle compliments well. But then I get pissed when I don’t get them. This is all part of an illness relating to an inability to be satisfied.

Which brings me to Lost.

What the bloody hell was that last night?

Time travel? Is that really where we’re going here? Or was Desmond just having an episode? A life before his eyes moment after the hatch imploded? If so I could have done without an hour of it. I like Desmond. I love Penelope and appreciate any chance to see her. Sweet loyal Penny who doesn’t care that Desmond isn’t good enough for her. He wants to be worthwhile and so believes he’s been saving the world by pushing a button. Guy with no esteem or self-worth is put into enclosed space and becomes convinced the world is in his hands. Part of the experiment? If so it makes more sense with what we are learning about Desmond. He’s not even worth a bottle of scotch. That was some cold ass shite by the way. That scene with Widmore. I need Desmond going all Sawyer on chain gang guy on Penny’s father. But something about the flashback that wasn’t left me a little hollow.

As for Sawyer he is the man. Old Wookie prisoner trick indeed.

But if Charlie dies now this show might die to me with him. Not because I love Charlie that much. Actually he’s become quite dispensable the past year. But now that his fate is tied into all this clairvoyant free will vs determinism shit I’m pulling for the old boy. I hate all that universe balancing itself by killing guys no matter how many times you save them according to some Oracle ring seller. I hate that kind of defeatist bullshit. If this show is going in that direction and all this was destined with no free will I might be bailing.

I can even deal with some sort of time travel as silly as it is. If Desmond telling his friend all that island stuff at that pub led to him telling Penny after he disappeared, thusly leading to her Arctic base and search for the electromagnetic anomaly, I can sort of get a kick out of that in a Donnie Darko it’s been done but at least not on a network show kind of way.

Now ABC is plugging next week as answering 3 of Lost’s biggest questions. Like they billed this as the best season. And episode 6 as the best episode. Biggest secrets? So we’re going to find out about the 4 toed statue? What the Dharma Initiative is? Why all the coincidences? The numbers? The electromagnetisms meaning? Is or was the island cloaked? Was the button really saving the world? Did the Others know?

I doubt it. I’m guessing we find out why Paolo can’t hold his bowels, why Hurley doesn’t lose weight on an island without a tv (only a minute has passed on the island), and why a rogue like Sawyer who obviously gets laid is still so obsessed with Star Wars.

And something about the kidnapped passengers. That we know we’re getting. Like that’s really been one of the biggest questions. Seems like bait and switch to me.

Quickly on 24. The Bauer’s are one weird ass creepy family. Da da da dum, snap, snap, da da da dum, snap, snap. They’re creepy and they’re cooky. I still haven’t watched hour 2 of last Monday’s 2 eps. I’m just tired and part of me wants Wayne Palmer to be take out. This is conflicting me in very personal ways.

But Jack on brother action is some serious shit. Jack was bad cop and good cop all by himself while torturing that sissy-ass neo-con brother.

Heroes. Bit slow lately. Doing some predictable padding of their own. Please let Nikki/Jessica die. I can’t take much more of her lip. I’m afraid of it. I want to use her face as a garden hoe.

Nathan is Claire’s father. Who could have seen that coming?

Oh yeah, everybody.

But hey it is more credible than pulling something really surprising out just for surprises sake. Sort of like 24 does even though 24 is alot more exciting.

Van Halen reunion. Roth is back. I will admit to you right now that I think Diamond Dave is one of the greatest frontmen in musical history. I am biased. I can’t wait to see how they handle the Hall Of Fame induction next month. sammy may be there. Dave will be there. Michael Anthony may be there after he just got fired in favor of Eddie’s kid Wolfgang, the product of one of the early hybrid relationships that today would be known as Valeddie Vanhanelli.

I loves me the VH but I want an album. A good one. i don’t care if they tour this summer. I’m not going to be a roadie.

All those meaninglesly optimistic stories about baseball teams, locally Mets and Yanks have begun, Everyday we’ll get bullshit about the vet fighting for a roster spot, the rookie trying to show he belongs, the rehabbing comeback attempt, etc etc. Such hack crap. Thank you Jeebus.

Idol. Take out that one dark haired girl who’s a bit different but still sexy and Chris the funny guy who looks like Ozzy’s kid, and this is a very bland and indistinguishable field. The best part may be over after being done with the fake bad auditions. At least some of them are fake. Unbelievably so. As for those who are not it’s very hard to fathom. Well not that hard in this country. Kids are stupid and full of themselves. They really think they are due their tv exposure. Things come too easy to us and too many kids now feel they simply must be handed fame no matter how little talent they have. Growing up in this oversaturated media culture has really turned out an army of psycho children with no conception of reality or normalcy.

Another side effect of the boosting esteem positive feedback upbringing from parents afraid to deal with the truth. Drop these kids in Darfur for a year and they’d come out wanting to star in a movie about a kid from Darfur and feel it was their due. The least society could do. It’s that Terrel Owens mentality we see in the NFL so much now. And NBA.

Everyone is worshipping at the cult of me and if they aren’t given their proper religious respectful reverence they go all holy shit my rights of free worship are being violated by you not respecting me. When Simon or Randy say they suck they’re doing the equivalent of walking into a church and screaming “Jesus sucks cock!”

I don’t want to go off on a rant here.

But I just did.

Because it’s my due too.

My due too.

Due too.

Doo doo.

Heh.

Heh-heh.

Oh yeah guess who I didn’t mention in this post?

Are Women Astronuts?

Published on February 8, 2007 in ..The Dude, Life and The Ill-Literates. 0 Comments

You’ve heard about the astronaut who stalked and kidnapped a rival for the affections of a man in mission control. Lisa Nowak got a bit nuts, donned a diaper, and drove from Houston to Florida making her the second looniest woman that I know of to ever drive a long distance to Florida with a tender innocent victim in her car. But this begs certain questions about the female makeup be asked.

Astronauts go through intensive training and testing. To make it to space as Nowak did you have to be the best, to have “the right stuff.” The women who make it are the most psychologically vetted women in our country. This means this woman should be one of the most balanced and stable women America has to offer. She’s a career woman with every reason to feel self worth and not engage in the dramas of the less successful, occupied, and talented.

And yet she stalks.

In a diaper.

And she plots murder.

I’m guessing still in the diaper since stopping to change at that point wouldn’t make sense once you passed up on numerous rest stop opportunities.

So despite all the testing, despite the career path most would envy, when it came down to dealing with seperating from her hubby and her slide off relationship in jeopardy, she couldn’t deal with it. Even on the NASA level people are plotting their exit strategies and consumed by ancient DNA operating on the mammalian and primal parts of the brain it seems. They are making sure they have a fall back option, and telling themselves it’s all perfectly justified. This goes for most men too. The whole slide off thing. Slide off is what a coworker of mine once called it. I thought it crude. But it’s what almost everyone does. But I wanted to believe a woman with a real sense of identity as a space shuttle astronaut should have, would be above this need and be able to function without her man to ground and control her.

So in this case with the loss of her husband and her slide off more into controlling missions and maybe the kidnapped woman, Nowak became unhinged. The prospect of having no man to moor her for a little while, no nest to drop her eggs in, got her primal, completely obscured a successful career, and she got all chimpanzee about things with her perceived rival.

This is some scary shit.

Of course the plus side on all this is that if women who have been to space and thusly seem out our league (I’ve never beeeen), are nutty and not worth the effort I guess those of us who have to deal with less successful ones can either gather hope that if the good and bad come in all shapes, sizes, and spectrums of society we could still get lucky. That or we shouldn’t blame ourselves for not being able to get women with greater identities and success because they’re all just nuts anyway and we never had a chance.