Monthly Archive for May, 2006

Commercials, Presidents, Perceptions, Evolution, And The Curious Disappearance Of Motorists.

Published on May 30, 2006 in ..The Dude, Irritations and The Ill-Literates. 4 Comments

  Some thoughts because I care…

  …about myself.

  I see these tv commercials calling new cars the cars of the future or futuristic like a current Toyota add. I'm sorry but do they fly? Do the doors open upwards? Are they fueled by the screams of children? Well then it's not the future I was promised.

  Technically no car is futuristc. Nothing is if its currently available. But as far as cars go it's not worthy of the 21st century unless it flys. I was led to believe this was possible as a child and I will except no less.

                                                —————–

  Speaking of commercials have you seen these new Heineken adds with the jingle singing, "Don't you wish your girlfriend looked good like me, don't you wish your girldfriend was fun like me…?" THey play this as they show images of the slender green bottle which is clearly cast in the role of subject of the tune. Isn't this really taking the whole beer as transference thing to new lows? Do I want my girlfriend to be shaped like a bottle, cold and hard to the touch, perspering with moisture and making me feel stupid and dizzy when I engage it?

   Been there done that.

   Put down the beer and talk to your girlfriend.

                                                   —————–

  I'm just going to say this and I don't care what anyone thinks of me. When it comes to 2008 I want Al Gore to run and win the Presidency. Say what you will about him but he's the smartest, hippest, most ethical, and forward thinking politician I know of. Including both Clintons. For god's sake people hjis daughter wrote for Futurama! I think there would be a sense of poetic justice to it all. It'd also be the best way to send the world the messege that we're sorry, we made a big mistake allowing this to happen over the past few years, and we're setting it right and restoring things to where they should have been, but with an unfortunate and deeply shameful 8 year gap that we'll try to make up for.

  THe only way to get people on our side again might be to give them a collective reason to believe we're politically admitting our mistake and casting it all on the Bush administration. THey will be the scapegoats, although for once that human habit of finding such an animal to bear the brunt of our problems will be much deserved.

   Maybe we can all step oout of our showers as a nation and just pretend it never happened. That'll be easier with Gore. He is our political Patrick Duffy. We killed him off and we know we made a mistake. Let's make him President before he goes on to a bad sitcom with Suzanne Somers.

  It's time Gore was a noun again, the name of our President, instead of being a verb describing our President's foreign policy. 

                                            ——————

   Met prospect Lastings milledge is up tonight because Xavier Nady had an emergency appendectomy. I'm looking forward to seeing the kid but I bring this up here to discuss such needless appendages as the the appendix and our tonsils. I guess Bob's hypotheses regarding the 4 toed statue on lost also got me thinking about this. But will our toes, tonsils, oor appendix be eliminated by evolution? I don't think this is really certain or a sign of a more evolved and selected for being.

  If we continue to get our tonsils and appendixes removed are we in some way cutting elvolution off at the pass and artificially not allowing it to work its magic? DO we have to not let people with bad tonsils and appendixes breed, or let them die in order to eliminate these vestigial artifacts? Or would that just naturally select for the ones that dont get infected and cause problems?

  If people with the weak tonsils and appendixes still breed why would natural selection eliminate them? Does it get rid of useless stuff or jsut harmful stuff. If they're not killing us it seems evolution dismisses the whole subject once we are born and set off in the world.

  Same thing with that missing toe. If its just useless is that enough for natrual selection to get rid of it?

  I mean if uselessness got rid of genetic lines would we have civil servants? People who stop for yellow traffic lights? Yankee fans? Mariah Carey?

  Ok I guess I have to give it a thousand years or so. i'll get back to you.

                                          ———————-

  Perceptions can be kind of useless too if they're not honed. I've ben way off in the past because I've let my poor self image effect the way I think others perceive me. Later I've found out otherwise. Usually its too late, especially with women. That got me to wondering about that thing with the woman in Hannaford a few weeks back.

  One of the contributing bits of evidence was not only that but her recent coldness with a friend who is a manager in the agency where she works. THen I got to thinking. He's been in management meetings where he's really stood out and shined, clearly marking himself as a cut above those colleagues present. This includes that aforementioned woman.

  So what if she feels intimidated by the both of us and that explains her behavior. She is reportedly introverted, therefore most probably has esteem issues. Many in her position have that psychological tendency to worry that they are not good enough to be in position of authority and that they will be exposed. What if my friend (who she knows is connected to me) has not felt her aloofness or distance because he has mentioned me to her and thinks he's trying to put the word in, as I thought, but in fact feels as if he's exposing her inadequacy. She has no reason to feel that way. She's very good at her job and a bright, well-spoken person, from what I've seen. But when you have the esteem issues and responsibility that stuff can go out the window. More than many of us are a bundle of issues coloring our views of ourselves and others.

  And if that's true maybe she feels intimidated by me, my rugged good looks, and scintillating wit and charm.

  Fuck you I do too sometimes have the wit and charm thing. Maybe not the good looks, but I'm no beast yet, and I can make the ladies dig me at times. Unfortunately I always find that out too late.

 Anyway maybe I should be operating under the -shes feeling inferior and unworthy of my attentions and can't imagine I'd be interested-theory, rather than the-i suck and may get desperate enough to date a born again Christian again before my closing window of opportunity slams shut-theory.

   I'd say its still 60-40 in favor of the latter theory but it could go either way. Does this mean I'm going to ask her out?

  Probably not. But I may take more advantage of an opportunity
such as the Hannaford gig in the unlikely event one comes up again.

                                                       ———-

   I've been noticing alot that drivers behind me have been suddenly disappearing. I'm worried something strange could be happening or I may be making people go away who get too close to me.

  They can't all be turning off as fast as they've been vanishing. I mean they are there one second and gone the next. Some of those times I'm pretty sure we weren't even passing a recent turnoff. And yet whoosh! Like magic I look ahead and a second or two later look back in the rearview and it's gone.

  WHere are these people going. Is invisibility technology really that advanced. Maybe Lost is onto something. Are these cars cloaked in some kind of negative refraction index electromagnetic shield? Are they popping into cornfields because I don't like to be followed? Is there an evil force in the land abducting motorists, and will I be next?

   Important questions all.

Lost And A Little Idol

Published on May 26, 2006 in Television and The Ill-Literates. 0 Comments

  I'm all about Penelope and Desmond now.

 Ok Lost. First off, the button. I bring this up only to respond to my detractors. But not pushing the button is something that had to be done. If not they would never have broken the cycle. Walt told Shannon to stop pressing it. It ultimately had to happen. Perhaps it needed the keymaster to keep its consequences under control, but nevertheless the maddening sameness and routine pushing that thing represented, the thrall to unwarranted belief, would have gone on endlessly. Now the door to more answers has been opened. Literally.

  Originally the whole button was a symbol of the philosophical underpinnings of locke and Jack's characters. THis was best represented when Locke asked Jack why he found it so hard to believe, and Jack yelled back, "Why do you find it so easy." 

  What we have after the finale does not vindicate nor denounce either one of them. As I've always suspected I don't think the show will ever take a stand in regard to this or any other philosophical issues raised. instead it will attempt to leave everyone and their beliefs feeling a warm and fuzzy sense of inclusion. THis is ok to a point depending on the issues raised. It's like Intelligent Design as opposed to Abortion. I can buy the oppositions arguments over the latter, and see why media must give both sides their due, but the former subject of I.D. is not a credible argument that deserves a public forum any more than neo-nazis do.

  The button is dead, long live the button. 

  Another concern I have is that too many questions are being abandoned. Remember the monster? It seems more and more that it was the cheap ploy to lure people in many thought it might be and has no real satisfying answer. This is why is has gone largely ignored this season. I do sometimes worry that this show throws alot of red herrings out there to fill space and temporarily occupy us with meaningless questions. Ultimately the big riddle of the series is one the writers have said they were prepared to wrap up in 1 season if the show wasn't a ratings hit. So now they've got to stretch that 1 season riddle out indefinetely.

  But so far the ride has been good and last night was a good finale that made the all important tactical decision to go off island for the first time not in a flashback. And Penelope is my new hero. Her and Desmond. So he better not be dead. As I alluded to in comment earlier I've always loved the name Penelope due to its relevance in Greek Mythology, a relevance I'm sure the writers of Lost were aware of. She was Odysseus's wife who became a symbol of stalwart loyalty and patience. She resisted all suitors and attempt to marry her off long after her husband was believed dead on his Odyssey. She is the opposite of my unfortunate female experiences. I'd always hoped to date a girl with that name back when literary and symbolic allusions found a warmer home and solace deep within the romantic I used to wear more plainly.

  So Penelope rules and Desmond must live so that they reunite. The show is all about that to me now.

  Questions raised last night:

   What's with the 4 toed foot statue? THe lost civilization thing doesn't ring true to me. Like many I thought of Gondor when I saw it last night. And The Simpsons. But a Pacific version of Atlantis is just not going to fly. THat's shark jumping territory there and way too much of a genre jump. THe same must be said for any spaceships (sorry AB). THey'd lose alot of people if that happened. A rule of drama is that you can't take your story into totally alien territory from what you've established previously. The movie Vanilla Sky violated this and was soundly criticized for it. It was a gritty romantic drama that suddenly veered into far out sci-fi. I liked it but it's also one of Crowe's least seen movies for at least partly that reason. You just can't go turning a show on its head and make it sci fi. Sure Lost is not a normal reality based show like Thirtysomething or more recently, any of these forensic shows you kids love so much. But the bulk of people who watch it are not people going to the geek websites of people more open to sci fi stuff like myself and others among you. They are tuning in to see a hardcore drama with a grounding in reality. Whispers in the jungle and electric fields are one thing. Spaceships and Atlantis? Well for those people you might as well dress Hurley up in a white t shirt, leather jacket, tether him to the back of a speed boat, and have him start circling the sharks while munching on a Dharma bar.

    I think AB might be on to something when he suggested to me that the statue might have something to do with a future humanity. Our little toe serves very little purpose evolutionarily speaking. Part of the Hanso project certainly seems to involve the future and betterment of humanity. As I've wondered in the past perhaps there was some sort of schism that split the Others from the project or from each other. Maybe the statue represented Hanso's uber-mensche and the Others tore it down when they revolted against the project. Their version of tearing down Sadaam's statue except not staged to look like a spontaneous Iraqi uprsing and jubilation for the morons back home.

  Speaking of Iraq: Whats the connection there. KAte's dad, Sayyid, and now hatch guy were all there in the Gulf War. This could be significant and Kelvin intimated himself that he came to Dharma though his military service.

  MOre questions: What was that look between Jack and Kate? Jack gave her a knowing nod and she closed her eyes in a deliberate manner as if signalling something to him Sawyer seemed to notice too. Was Jack communicating that there was more to his plan with Sayyid and that they'll be ok? Was Jack just trying to apologize for leading them into this mess and Kate closing her eyes was shutting him out of giving him forgiveness? I lean towards the former. There was something communicative in that exchange. I saw no trace of remorse from Jack or anger-hurt from Kate. Something is up there.

  THis brings me to my theory that Kate and not Claire is Jack's sister. The world is against me on this. Everyone out there thinks its Claire just as I did at first. The writers know this. It's too easy and obvious. Maybe they want to lob us a flat fastball from time to time to make the curves and offspeed stuff that much more effective, but I don't think they'd it over as big a reveal as one of the Losties being Jack's half sister. That's too big in my opinion.

   KAte was in Australia when Christian Shepherd was and maybe someone with better memory can correct me if I'm wrong, but all he said to that blonde woman was that she knew where his daughter was. I don't remember him saying she was the mother. I could be wrong on this but I think we all just assumed especially with her resemblance to Claire. But in hollywood all australians are sexy blondes. THe hole in the theory is that Kate was kind of covert at that point so how would Christian know where she was.

  But as Penelope said to Desmond foreshadowing the shows biggest reveal last night, "When you have alot of money and determination you can find anyone." Jack's dad may not be Wdmore rich but he's got his resources and more and more it seems as if he might even be connected to Hanso in some way. We got no clue of that blonde womans presence in Kate's Australian flashbacks, but how much did we see there?

  THis might be too Luke and Leia for the writers though. Right now if I had to bet I'd say we eitehr never find out who the sister is or its someone new they introduce us to later. I'd be fine with Claire. Not surprised at all, but if I were in Vegas rig
ht now and had to place my bet I'd stay away from the heavy favorite here.

  And what did the Others mean by going home with Kate, Jack, and Sawyer? Are they a ticket off the island? Or are K,J, & S going home in the sense that they have some roots on that island? I'm definitely starting to believe they have some qualities that set them apart besides being better looking than most everybody else. Or maybe even thats not a coincidence and part of a genetic engineering program.

  Could they have powers more harnessable than Walt's? IS that what Gale meant when he said they, "got more than we bargained for when walt joined us," with a chuckle. Or did he simply mean getting 3 castaways instead of one?

  I tend to favor the former theory. I think Walt was too much for them and I think J,K,& S have some special gifts that could even go hand in hand with their emotional issues. What if the islands electromagnetic powers can not only heal the body but is being used to experiment on curing the mind? THere is some link between the loony bin and some of the characters. And maybe genius and madness are closely linked and the groups issues arise partly out of their unharnessed and misunderstood gifts?

  Could Libby have been recruiting asylums because of this operating belief of the Hanso Foundation?

   WHere is Vincent? Wouldn't Walt want to secure him? I guess he could be just emotionally frazzled and eager to get out of there with his dad, but I think there could be a reason Vincent got left behind. That dog is up to something people. I don't think they are coming back for him though as some do. I think we've seen the last of Walt and Mike for a very long time if not for good.

  On the other hand I think Ecko, Locke and Desmond are all ok. Anotehr drama rule is that if you're killing off people in a cliffhanger you show the bodies. That's the big reveal that sends you into the summer with a whopper. you dont come back and start things with a body count and have such a reveal at the beginning of episode 1.

  It's possible 1 or more of them could go missing (invisible like the island due to super doses of EM?), but even that would demand a return to kill that character next season. You can't just show a body that you filmed this season just in case or have it revealed through exposition.

  What's up with the bird? What weird ass kind of bird was it and did it really say Hurley's name. I played a few times and it certainly does sound a bit like he does. But people hear or see familiar people or things in arbitrary places or cloud formations all the time. It certainly could be his name but its also bird-like enough that the writers could get away with discarding the notion and never mentioning it again if they cant find a use for it.

  Predictions:As I said we will not see mike and Walt next year, or maybe ever again.

  Everyone in the hatch will survive.

  We will not go off-island regularly if at all next season.

  We may skip ahead in time a bit next season.

  It's 2006 outside the island, or will be alot sooner than we are on pace for now.

  Sawyer will come up with a cool nickname for Gale.

  We will not find out who Jack's sister is.

  The Jesus stick will be involved in an extraordinary incident.

  Kate will still be hot.

  Penelope owns her though and will own her next season too.

  The 3 captives will not find out a whole lot about the Others during their time with them which will get needlessly dragged out the way Jack and Desmond in the hatch the beginning of this season did.

  I will be wrong about some of this just as everyone will.

  Penelope will still rule.

  Hurley wont get laid.

  We will find out more about Him. but probably not identify him.

  The ratings will go down.

   It's already started. They'd better watch for that kind of filler and foot dragging I alluded to. The ratings are down, got beat out pretty good by Idol last night which i dont get. I watch the Idol but I can really take or leave it. It seems to be growing though. I think I may protest that show next season. It's really run its course. I was glad Taylor won, I kind of believed he would for the past month or (never would have thought so very early on), but these cats are not real musicians. Real musicians play instruments in garages and local clubs writing their own music and working their way up to get noticed through word of mouth. THe whole Idol thing really is an artificial proving ground that dispenses with true tests of talent and greatness.

  But then i'm biased because I'm not into singers for singing. I want a good voice out of my lead singer, but I dont want them mastrubating orally.

  And winning Idol really means nothing at this point. Everyone in contention the final month or two makes a record. Katherine and Chris, and probably Elliot, Paris, Mandissa, Kelly, and maybe more, will all get their chances to show their mediocrity. I do have to admit that I like alot of Kelly Clarkson's songs though. But how many of them is she writing? My guess is shes a production manufactured by hit songwriters who have managed to capture what she can do well. And she should get credit for doing it well despite not playing an instrument. Subsequent winners havent been able to do that. Heard anything from Rueben Studdard recently? Or Fantasia or whatever her name was? Who won last year? I dont even remember. Oh yeah that Christian country chick. Shes got a hit out there but its playing on people the way Bush gets votes. Tapping into that culture. "Jesus Takes The Wheel," or some such idiotic title is her current single. Man I hated her last year and I hate her more now. She oozed phony and calculation then and using Jesus sentiments to sell records just reitierates it for me.

  But Idol as a phenomenon is going to run its course. I predict the numbers go down for the first time next year. The novelty is wearing off and people are realizing America doesn't have that much singer talent to offer up every year. Not big stage type talent. Hell i think our own Bob is a better singer than alot of these clowns. If he were under 30 he could be on there.

  But what I was getting at was that if Lost doesn't want to keep losing ratings to Idol, actually dropping 20% from last years season finale, its going to have to start giving people more on a more consistent level. And its going to have to stay away from implausible stuff that will alienate chunks of audience. THis will be hard to do since it seems like a pretty fractured audience judging from the people I know who watch it.

  Its going to become a finer and finer line the show will have to walk and I'm sure they'll be able to do it successfully. Right now it still holds together. But so did the X Files and Twin Peaks until they had to sustain themselves and turn an idea into a longterm series.  

Chinese Democracy In 07?

Published on May 23, 2006 in ..The Dude, Television and The Ill-Literates. 4 Comments

  That's what Jack Bauer is going to bring starting in January 2007 because Axl never will.

   Season finale now behind us, it's time to enter the Bauerless months of summer and fall. Pretty good ending. Was a little disappointed Robocop was Bauered. Kind of wanted him to stay around as a Nina Myers-like future option.

  And of course Logan went down. I didn't think they'd kill him. I can live with that. I got most of what I needed watching his his eyes bug out of his head while all Jack did was stare at him silently on the helicopter. I bet that coward wet his pants. I bet he could have killed him with the stare if he wanted to. I bet he's stared others to their deaths before. He's Jack Bauer.

  But did Jack really intend on shooting him or was that all an act to get Logan to drop his cover and feel confident enough to say something while he was bugged? Nice switch up with the pen thing just like giving Henderson an unloaded gun. Really liked Morriss's reaction to seeing Jack with Logan. You can tell there's history there and a knowledge of Jack's outside the box thinking. He was like, "Uh Jack that's the President your going to torture this time..uh whatever I'm out of here."

  NIce job of keeping Palmer prominent and having Logan taken away as a real Predident's flag draped casket is ceremoniously prepared for transit. Could feel the emotion there and was physically disgusted at Logan even uttering Palmer's name. Was hald expecting wayne Palmer to show up and blast his Bushesque ass. Got to give the actor portraying Logan credit though. Made alot of people really hate him.

  But of course the big shocker was the ending. They went and did it. Bob and I called for it last year. End the season with Jack abducted by the Chinese and on his way to a Chinese prison. They didn't do it then and i'm glad because it was better this way. The Chines suggestion was still there during this season but faint enough that we let our guard down and it came as a surprise when they took him. And ending on that shot of a boat bound for Shanghai (or was the boat named Shanghai?), was ultra-dramatic and left me with the proper, "oh shit," factor.

  Chinese bastards!

 Yeah it's impausible that they could have beaten him that bad, got him to the port, and been out to sea, all in about 10-15 minutes, but for dramatic purposes you had to have him on that boat or else you're looking at an ending with a much easier out for next season. If Jack's at the Chinese embassy you don't feel the same desperation. You know it wouldn't take much for CTU to go get him. Chloe alone could pull that off by messing with their computers and leaving them without any way to function. Or tazering them all silly.

  I for one think the better thing would have been for them to just dispense with the sometimes annoying time signature in order to get the ending they need. Fans would forgive it for such an extreme ending. They could always cheat by having the final clock ticking in Chinese so nobody will know what time it is anyway. BUt save that temporal anomaly it was a great cliffhanger and potential set up for next season.

  Don't know if they'll go as far as setting the show in China, but clearly something more will have to go down and quite possibly do so outside of L.A. BUt they better not pull what they did with the Palmer cliffhanger from season 2.

 I like Chloe's ex, Morris and hope they are setting him up for a return next season. They need more people to kill after all. Can you imagine being married to Chloe? She probably makes perturbed faces during sex. And has most of it on the computer. 

  And does Logan have quick sex or what? They started at the end of episode 1 a couple of minutes before the beginning of the hour and he was getting dressed as episode 2 started. Talk about a short term Presidency. NO wonder Martha was so ready to give him up. Yeah he got alot of people killed and sold out the country for his ideology, but she knows aaron can give her the loving she needs. Those secret service guys are trained for endurance.

  I think Logan set that up with the Chinese too, the bastard. He told Graham he had the Bauer situation worked out. he wasn't going to kill him, he was going to let the CHinese have him. ANd he probably wont even do any time! Shite! Loooogan!

  Chinese bastards!

  I knew things were wrapping up too quickly. I thought Grahams group, known online as the bluetooth group, might pull something, but damn it if they didn't go and do the Chinese thing.

  And will we ever find out who those phone mic guys are? Are they related to the all powerful group Nina seemed connected to? Is Mandy part of their thing? Will Jack kill everyone in China or just the entire Communist government?

  I doubt we see it but I want to see Curtis, Wayne Palmer, and Aaron tearing up China next year to get Jack out. Friggin Chinese messed our boy up and they need to pay. I need them to pay damn it! And it's all Kim's fault again! Don't even take pretend calls from her Jack, she's bad news. Nothing good comes from even the suggestion of her. First she kills Edgar and Sam Gamgee, and now this. I heard her name and I was expecting some field animal of the Serengeti to leap out at Jack when he walked into the room to take that call. Or Matt Dillon's less talented brother along with a band of urban looters.

    My guess is next season starts a year or so later with the Chinese bringing Jack back for some kind of trade brokered by President Lantern and then all hell breaks loose. Maybe even in N.Y. Or maybe a CHinese-German deal. Man alot of governments would probably like a piece of Jack and not in a good way like all good normal Bauer loving men and women.

  I hope Audrey's back but I heard something about her getting a show. Heller's still alive though. IT would be nice to see him get a promotion under the new Green Lantern Corps Presidency and engineer Jack's rescue for his lovely daughter some have dubbed Skeletor.

  I think she's sexy.

  Chinese bastards!  

Some T.V., Sports, and Immigration

Published on May 18, 2006 in The Ill-Literates. 0 Comments

   We're down to 2 hours and one episode on Lost and 24. Idol as well. France has more direction than the Mets. What does it all mean?

   24 has slowed a bit the past couple of shows. Was that another inside guy letting Bierko go in that police van? Who does the hiring for that place? Hans Moleman?

  And what's with the IED? Who's giving orders to these guys with Henderson and Bierko in custody? Muqtada al Sadr? What an organized bunch of terrorists these guys are.

 I see a sitcom with Martha and Pierce next year. First Lady and secret service agent open up their own private detective agency like Dave and Maddy. Watch the sparks fly and the mascara run, and the pills fall. Aaron rules though.

 Agent Pierce saying, "Is there anything else Charles," was truly a nation uniting moment. I think we all healed a little just then. It's like he said "Is there anything else you scum filled cum bubble of a dog-fucking cuntrag." On network tv. He also said the president was, "A traitor to the nation and disgrace to the office." Yeah take that Bush, I, uh mean Logan. You're going down because America is too gutless and mind controlled to bring the real president down. Sacrifices must be made and Aaron pierce is our instrument.

  Lost disapointed me a bit. We got Micahel's backstory from his time away but I was left feeling as if he overreacted to waht he saw and experienced. Was that really enough to shoot anna Lucia over? To hand over Jack, Sawyer, Kate, and Hurley?

  I didn't think so. After the shooting incident I was left thinking, "man whatever he was and experienced over there the past few months (our time), must have been brutal and huge, with major implications for everyone if he is willing to go to such lengths. I didn't think it was just a simple case of "give us what we want and you get Walt." Sure a father's love will go to all kinds of extremes. But Michael seemed rational enough to realize he could have come back and filled Jack in and hatched a plan.

  The bottom line is we get a woman making mean faces at him and asking alot of weird questions and he reacts like he escaped from Billy Mummy's corn field.

  Just seems a bit off to me. I was left with bigger expectations after such a major act. Not getting them makes me feel like they did kill the girls off to punish them. It certainly doesn't seem relevant to plot or theme at this point.

  I ask you this? What do Hurley, Jack, Kate, and Sawyer have in common that the others don't? Why them?

 Eliot's gone from Idol. Likable guy. hope it all works out for him. Taylor's going to win this thing. I like the guy alot but he'll be the worst pure singer to win the competition. But I've never been into pure singers anyway. It's all about how the voice works with the band. Would Paul MaCartney or Mick Jagger have won on Idol? Would Eddie Vedder? Probably not. Chris Cornell maybe. But Taylor is going to have to learn how to hold some notes more consistently if he wants a career in the biz. Either that or get a good band and keep singing the kind of stuff he can do well and let the band cover up his flaws.  

  Speaking of Paul M he and the one legged woman are splitting up. You think it was splinters? Ooh sorry. She's going to take him to the cleaners. Poor Paul. Decades with Linda, and now just another short term money grab celebrity relationship.

  You see France's solution for immigration? They are going to let only the best and brightest in. The ones with futures. The ones that are truly desperate and actually need to escape from squalor and have no great talents are to stay where they are. This kind of made me think that this whole immigration thing is sort of Darwinistic. France is just making no pretense about it. I think American politicians would probably like something similar but years of self-serving policies serving the greater god of the free market whom they tried to build into an agent of darwinistic forces, have left this country without any clear way out.  

  But more on that in another post.

  As predicted the Mets lost their 3rd straight series to a good team. Was never fooled by these mutts. Another patchwork job that was inevitably going to always come up short to real winners built up from a consistent organizational philosophy. The Mets are like the Republicans in their lack of such qualities.

  Now watch the desperate trade moving prized prospect Lastings milledge for pitching happen just as I predicted many months ago that they would do out of desperation when this staff fell apart. They just never get it. Things are better than they've been but this is still a fundamentally clownish organization. I love them but they're not winning a thing anytime soon. Lots of Mets fans thought we were running away with it just 3 or so weeks ago. I said they wouldn't make it through May. Now the Braves are playing like the Braves again to go along with the Phillies. Forget falling to 2nd. 

  3rd place here we come.

 

The Miracle Of DVR

Published on May 16, 2006 in ..The Dude, Technology, Television and The Ill-Literates. 11 Comments

[image:133:l] Last week I finally got my hi-Def/DVR receiver along with the new hi-Def package of channels.
Like a man newly in love I wish all of you who don’t have such a set up could know the same feeling of joy I now know.

? Most of you know the basics of what this stuff can do. Those who don’t have a dvr machine are by now familiar with the whole Tivo thing which has swept the nation (and by god its about time somebody swept this mess). But let me wax poetically about all the life altering advantages this little puppy has bestowed upon this humble? lovesick supplicant.? ?

First off, t.v. schedules are now meaningless to me. I watch what I want to watch when I want to watch it because I can record it all anytime in any combination. Just think about the implications of this! Sure I’ve had a vcr for many years, but it still imposed limitations that only now, with the knowledge of a better life absorbed over the past few days, do I realize? presented a flimsy kind of freedom indeed. Mine was the freedom of a minimum security incarceration. Free in comparison to the maximum security horrors of our pre vhs society, but imprisonment nevertheless. But now my friends I have tasted the sweet fruits of true freedom. I have walked through my cell doors and out of the prison. Yes those doors have swung wide and revealed the glory of a multi-tasking harddrive wired to my t.v. enabling simultaneous recordings and the power to control live programming!

Cue the choir of angels now please!

Now I can record 2 programs at once. I can watch one and record another. I can set up for programming ages in advance. Previously due to the limitations of satellite and some cable systems over the years, it had become impossible to record one thing while watching another. Due to the way it was set up it was also impossible to record more than one program in a day unless you were going to be there to change the channel. Now those shackles are thrown off. I can go anywhere for any duration and still be able to waste countless hours vegetating in front of my television.? I’m free, dear god free at last!

? Finally my life can revolve fully around t.v. the way it was always meant to. I tried for years to make that dream a reality but was sidetracked by work, social outings, errands, the biologically atavistic need for fresh air and exercise, and a lack of committment to my dream. But it is that last quality that now enables my full engagement with dvr and widescreen hi definition broadcasting that I now believe to be my destiny.

? I can set this puppy up to record every episode of 24 all season long. And when president with a small p made his immigration speech last night that set all network programming back 20 minutes, it knew. Somehow it knew! It made the adjustment despite the guide not including the change as of a few hours before. It’s already set itself up for next weeks 2 hour finale as well.

? As I write is sits, plotting it’s next move. I believe it is downloading programming about cloning in order to fully mobilize an army of me to properly serve it. I suspect it has motion sensors. Last night as I slept I think it sent me back in time.

? More importantly one of the hi def channels, I think it’s HDNET,? plays Wiseguy, one of my all time favorite shows weekday mornings. Haven’t seen it in better part of 20 years. It’s set to record them all. Forever. Same with Daily Show and Colbert Report. Now I watch them when I want and don’t have to foresake them to tape something else or think about making it for one of the Comedy Channel’s showings.? And I can wait as long as I want to watch it. Despite the machine’s powers the relationship is currently on my terms. I have hand. Stuff is always sitting there waiting to be watched. There’s never nothing on!

? And it’s not just recording all this stuff. Unlike vcr, the quality of playback on dvr is still digital. I can even record high def programming in hi def though the memory for it is 30 hours compared to 200 for non hi def. And of course I can fast forward at various speeds and skip ahead 30 seconds at a time to breeze past commercials. But live t.v. has new benefits as well. I can stop a broadcast and pick it up anytime later. watching a live Mets game and see a rare instance of the Mets making a good defensive play, I can go back and watch it as many times as I like at any number of speeds. Suddenly want to run to the store during a game? no problem. I come back and pick up where I left off until finished or I catch up with the live broadcast.

? It’s like I control time as well as a meaningful relationship!?

I believe this to be the culmination of my life’s work. This is everything sliced bread should have been but wasn’t. At last there is a measure of fulfillment to my life. The only thing missing on this thing is an oriffice.

? The owner of HDNET as well as various other things including the Dallas Mevericks is Mark Cuban who predicted hi-def will revolutionaize tv and usher in a golden age restoring networks to prominence as they offer the most high bandwidth programming. He said sitcoms and 30 second commercials would rule again due to dvr’s then inability to work with hi def. But that’s changing. Besides more bandwidth being available now and in the years ahead this puppy does it all on standard and high def.

? But I know where Cuban’s coming from. High def is great and it does make me want to watch things broadcast that way just for the picture. There’s a channel that was showing air images of great cities in hi-def and I felt like I could just fall right into it. And I don’t even own the highest resolution capable t.v. I have a 720 or 1080 interlaced widescreen RCA. 1080 progressive is the highest and what most will have eventually. Not many t.v.’s out there now with it though.

? I’ve got questions about how this will all work with hi-def DVD’s and or Blu-Ray players starting to make their way into the market. Not to mention current upscaling dvd players relying on HDMI to upconvert 420 p signals to 720 which my current dvd player doesn’t do. But if it can get me these type pics I’m there.

? But dvr stands alone in its lure independent of the broadwith. A recent Arbitrol poll asked people what piece of technology they own they actually love the most and 54% said their dvr box. That’s a higher precentage than that of those who voted for god’s choice for President. Clearly i’m not alone in my love. It is perhaps not only my destiny but America’s to succomb to the seductive lure of perpetual viewership. It’s beauty is that is gives us the illusion of now controlling our viewership rather than it controlling us. Who controls who will be a question for the philosophers and historians who will decide our posterity, as well as the? archeologists that dig us out of our bedrooms and living rooms? bent on examining wheather it was? dvr that saved us from war and annihilation, or wheather it simply allowed us to go out with more of a whimper than a bang.

Abortion And The Mets

Published on May 10, 2006 in ..The Dude, Politics, Religion, Sports and The Ill-Literates. 5 Comments

[image:128:l] How rooting for the Mets can save a baby.

[image:130:l] The Mets are geting screwed. On Sunday a noted atrocity of an umpire named Angel Hernandez not only made a bad call at the plate but told Mets catcher Paul LoDuca before the game that his pitcher Jose Lima is not going to get as big a strike zone as the Braves John Smoltz. Now it’s always been an unspoken truth that umpires cheat. Their strike zones are not consistent and they favor some players over others. Some think there is nothing wrong with them doing it to a rookie. You know, make him pay his dues and learn the ropes while cagey veterans get the close calls.

Problem with this thinking is that it’s lying. And cheating. A strike is a strike.

So LoDuca called him out after the game and told the media Hernandez said what he did. He blew the whistle.

So what happens? Does an umpire many in the league have complained about for years due to his incompetence and unprofessionalism, including those Braves, get investigated by MLB? No. The Mets get fined. Speak out and you pay. In America it is the whistleblower who pays. That’s the American way and Baseball has always been a good bellweather and microcosm for our country.

On to tonight. I asked the question on a Mets board related to Sunday. I asked if people agreed with me that the fraternal order of umps would now get together to call everything close against the Mets for now on. And than against the 2nd place Phillies tonight we got a rash of horrid calls that included a clearly blown out call on Jose Reyes at 2nd base and numerous bad calls on balls and strikes in the late innings that probably cost the Mets the game in a squeaker. There were clearly 2 different strike zones tonight. A normal, even expanded one for the Phillies pitchers, and a tiny one for the Mets. The 48 year old respected veteran Julio Franco even got thrown out by the home plate ump from the on deck circle for complaining about what he was seeing on the field. In the clubhouse afer the game he was visibly upset and callled the umps out some more. This is a guy who should know and who does not overreact easily. He’s known as the ultimate class act who is usually a peace keeper rallying others to keep a clear head.

This was Revenge Of The Umpires.

And it may continue all year. The Mets are now only 3 up on the Phillies who are on a 9 game winning streak and will be in first place very soon. The Mets just aren’t that good, but now they also have to contend with the fraternity of mafioso, LAPD-like protecting of their own from the leagues cheating umpires as well.

What does this have to do with abortion?

Well first off Hernandez should have been born with a coat hanger sticking out of his head. . . I exaggerate for effect of course. Also the Mets season is being aborted by their once again not forming the proper nucleus and foundation, instead preferring to patch together unmatched parts and not prioritizing pitching. Theirs is an organizational plan that should have been aborted many years ago. It’s getting better. But it’s in a fetal stage and too many people are expecting mature results. Including the still sometimes dumbass Mets. But the Mets are still the good guys just like when they battle the evil emoire in a week or two. I speak of the Yankees of course. The oppressor’s team. The man.

And it is the multiple systems the Mets must now battle that threaten our very national existence.

Bear with me here people.

This casual exceptance of cheating with rationales like, “they have to pay their dues, the long timer deserves an advantage,” and the like, are part and parcel of the kind of corruption rampant in America. This stuff allows us to paint over reality however it fits us. It remakes the facts into something subjective and malleable.

Vague reality leads to our other national atrocities like Bush and the fundamentalist version of reality funneled through the corporate owned right wing media. In a country where we stand alone as the only developed nation not acknowledging global warming because of the rights manipulation of science, think tanks that alter facts to fit the policy, a government that does the same, and people suffering or letting others suffer due to the religion they happened to get brainwashed by at some point in their lives, there needs to be more people sticking up for truth and replacing the cozy warmth of subjective truth with the allegiance to the greater good based on an empirical grasp that helped build our foundation.

Jesus H people you get that guy calling Rumsfeld out at his press conference for being a liar and the media makes the accuser sound guilty of some lack of decorum despite evidence supporting his comments. Even Rumsfeld’s denials of lying and having said he knew where the WMD’s were is a probable lie. It’s on tape. Him on Meet The Press in 03 saying he knew exactly where they were and actually pinpointing those locations on live tv. But the media instead of focusing on these lies once again puts the victim-accuser-whistleblower on trial. And it is left to Jon Stewart to point it out and show the tapes, as it always is, because the lies are just too damn big and in our faces for anyone but a station that airs South Park to have the wherewithal to talk about. The real msm doesnt consider it their job to discuss unpleasant reality. Stuff like impeachment. America doesn’t have the stomach for it they say. Polls say otherwise. But it is they that do not have the stomach for it. And their reality becomes ours because they keep saying it and those that counter them are ignored or derided by the punk-ass bitches on FOX News and it’s sister conservaholic news outlets.

ABC News recently falsely reported the effects of the morning after or RU-486, keeping in lockstep with the religious undermining of reality that has pervaded our government and its scientific institutions. We already have a case where alot of evidence indicates the FDA has held off on approval due to political pressure that is of course due to the religious influence in this administration. At the same time these purveyors of official reality decry crime. Yet evidence indicates abortion prevents crime. And a recent research study indicates that America is tied for second and trailing only Latvia for the worst rate of infant mortality of all industrialized nations. CBS News. Why don’t the media and the religious hypocrites care about this?

Is it because these facts support tired liberal-left wing notions of how we need single payer health care, social safety nets, and more maternity leave for mothers, all of which is indicated to be at least partly to blame for our atrocious rate of killing our babies (And I would add environmental action since it’s my personal opinion our toxic environment is poisoning mothers and children)?

Of course health care and mercury emissions don’t spark the religious mind as easily as one note superficial issues like abortion. The in vitro baby offer solutions with easy black and white answers that offer attractive controls over people’s naughty parts if followed. But once those supposedly ensouled people get out into the world we see once again that they lose their political and emotional value and become as useless as facts have become in a country that sees them as being as pliable as their morality.

So what I’m saying is when you root for the Mets the rest of this season you are fighting the power and quite possibly doing your part to save babies and children.

You’re certainly doing more to do so than the Christian right ever has or ever will.

MI:3, Lost, Metal, And Family Stuff.

Published on May 8, 2006 in ..The Dude, Music and The Ill-Literates. 9 Comments

I had a relationship-life epiphany tonight. This post is not about that. More at another time. This is about what the sign on the door says. So step inside and walk this way.

Saw Mission impossible 3. Not going to do a full review because I just don’t care enough. It was a decent enough movie for it’s genre I guess but I’m tainted by 24. I found myself at many points saying to myself Jack Bauer did that, or Jack would do that better, of Jack Bauer isn’t a psychotic medicine hating, alien brained, couch jumping, Brooke Shields hating, starlette jumping lunatic.

I guess I’m saying Cruise is hard to seperate from his recently loosed personality. I still think he’s a good actor but he’s hard to really like now. If he made another Rain Man or Born On The Fourth Of July, human drama, both of which I htink he was excellent and endearing in, it might change my mind.

But dead to me and all that.

As expected the movie isn’t doing the box office you’d expect. $50 million is ok, but not great for this type of movie at this time of year, with a star like Cruise. I think this is partly in response to Cruise’s weird-ass behavior the past year or so. War Of The Worlds didn’t do that well either. Maybe it’s time Cruise went away for a while, be a dad, and come back when he gets the alien out of his head.

By the way it was good to see him get a brain implant in the movie. So the alien would have some company. Do Scientologist believe implants can alter behavior since medicine and therapy apparently can’t? Or is it just Tom who believes that and not necessarily Scientologists?

Phillip Seymour Hoffman was good of course. Not the typical over the top Eurotrash bad guy you get in these movies and some seasons of 24. Very understated but intense performance.

By the by: The Hanso Foundation gets a credit in the movie. Abrams is of course the director so that’s the tie in. Also Cruise’s character Ethan Hunt gets a letter from a Kelvin which is Gale on Lost and the guy who played Ethan on Lost is Cruise’s cousin.

Coincidence?

Of course not. Meaningful?

Not at all.

As for Lost I need to watch some season 1 dvd’s again to refresh myself on some of the many connections. For one thing I want to see the whole Jack-Dad morgue thing. I also want to see the ep with Mike’s ex wife. I always thought her sudden blood disease was curious, but didn’t really think about it as more than an expedient plot device to get Walt with mike. But I think she’s tied to Hanso and her disease, if true at all, is related and that she got Walt involved with this. Finding out the company she worked for as a lawyer and the countries she was in during that period after leaving Michael is something to look for.

And I don’t care what everyone thinks, i liked Anna Lucia. Perhaps because you all hated her. We are stronger because of your disapproval. Like John and Yoko we are ,except we’ve never had physical contact, we most likely will never record together, and no one has ever heard of me.

At the same time I’m not all that sad to see her go. I think the only characters on the show I’d be really saddened about dying are Jack, Locke, Hurley, and Sawyer. Sun, Gin, and Rose-Bernard are all worthy and i like them, but I’d get over it. Kate, Claire, Echo, Charlie, and Libby at this point don’t move me at all.

Why did no one tell me VH1 had a reality series with Tommy Lee going to college at Nebraska University? Apparently it’s been on a few months. Saw a marathon this weekend. In fact VH1 is doing a whole metal thing for the month of May. I’m watching a Most and Least Metal show right now. Infinitely entertaining. Among the important points: Mariah Carey did a remake of Def Leppard’s Bringing On The Heartbreak recently. I did not know this. Saw a brief clip. As anyone not brainwashed by mainstream music media would expect, it sucked and in no way is worthy of the great band that originated one truly epic song after another.

And Sheryl Crow did Sweet Child Of Mine. And she won an award for it!

It wasn’t anywhere near as good. She gets an award and G&R get Chinese Democracy and guys with KFC buckets on their head as an awrdless Axl becomes a joke. This is not right. It’s not Jethro Tull winning the Grammy over Metallica for best metal band wrong. But it’s wrong.

The audience actually booed when Tull won that. Metal? They play a friggin flute! That should automatically keep them out of any metal category. In fact it should have pitted them against Yanni. Was Yanni around then? You get my point. I should let this go now.

But the Tommy Lee thing was fun in a hanging at work and watching with similarly aged products of the 80′s digging on misfit Tommy trying to fit in and grasp Chemistry and not lust after his hot tutor, kind of way. Reality shows are mostly stupid and unrealistic, and this was no exception. But it was Tommy. Flunking band. As a drummer!

His little asides to class mates during lectures we’re awesome. Truly he spoke for a generation of idiots just like him who could feel better about themselves seeing an icon of cultural sex come off as such an outcast and over the hill reject among all those brainy and nubile coeds.

Next time something like this is on I want to be notified people!

Shite now they’re talking about Kiss doing I Was Made For Loving You. Disco Kiss. Really should have seen the backlash coming when they did that.

VH 1 rules!

I like the new Bon Jovi tune by the way. Who Says You Can’t Go Home is the name. It doesn’t sound 80′s but it puts me back there in that era when Jon and the boys were hot, I was still a prized marketing demographic, America wasn’t universally hated, and I was romantic and naive enough to believe in true love and forever. The whole Jersey shout out going on in it makes me think of Yonkers and my friends back there but especially my cousins. This is especially vivid because my cousin Stefano just got in touch for the first time in the better part of a decade. my cousin Freddy sort of reminded me of a cross between Jon Bon Jovi and Sam Kinnison. He was good drummer who actually played and opened for some notable bands. He’s well into his 40′s now I think, but apparently has went and got himself a 22 year old Russian bride according to Stef. Went there to marry her and all. This seems very Freddy and seems, in retrospect, like the obvious and inevitable outcome of his coupling destiny.

Of course these things don’t generally work long term but Fred always was a live for today kind of guy, god bless him. He was what I call a magnificent bastard.

Stef got me into Metallica. We have the same birthday. In fact we were born the same year, same day, and same hour with the caveat that he did so in a different time zone in Genoa Italy. Always a good, funny guy. He’s still appreciative of the metal and goes to shows and that’s good to hear. Say what you will, big hair, mousse, and leather spandex inspired some decent rock tunes.

Stef is a cop in Yonkers now. in my old neighborhood, which is apparently one of the worst areas around there now. Things have changed. But that Bon Jovi song is living right now:

“You take the home from the boy, but not the boy from his home
These are my streets, the only life I’ve ever known, who says you can’t go home
Who says you can’t go home
There’s only one place that call me one of their own
Just a hometown boy, born a rolling-stone, who says you can’t go home.”

There is this one odd point in the chorus where Jon keeps singing, “It’s alright, it’s alright,” but sounding like Senor Wences saying “saldight.” Not sure where he was coming from there. Still it’s genius. In an 80′s kind of way.

Actually got some interview requests for managerial gigs in my agency for Westchester, including one from White Plains where I used to work briefly a long time ago and where Freddy now lives. It’s actually a little tempting, but it’s too much upheaval for me and my dad right now. Will I go home again someday? I don’t know. I can see it, but I lean away from it. Still much to like here.

Starting to like the new Pearl Jam album. Say what you will about the 80′s and the metal, but the early 90′s grunge-Seattle Nirvana movement is my favorite musical period and the one that I think best defined me. PJ was never so much grunge though, as more of a classic rock-punk influenced band. The new album is no different. Full review may be forthcoming when I can absorb it more. Wasn’t loving it at first despite alot of good buzz, but saw potential there. Many of my all time favorite albums had to grow on me. We’ll see if this keeps doing so, but it’s getting good.

Can’t say the same for Queensryche’s Operation Mindcrime II. The first is an all time great album. Maybe the best concept album all time for me. Definitely second only to The Wall. Did an amazing job of making a bunch of great, rythmic songs with lyrics you want to sing and that stick together as part of a coherent story. The story itself maybe a bit cheesy, but the songs worked as part of a general call to anarchy and to the disenfranchised. I can’t reiterate enough how great it was. I knew it couldn’t be approached again. Still early but it looks like I was right.

Oh my god Michael Bolton was part of a metal band at one point!

I totally forgot that dudes.

And the lead singer of Keel, Ron Keel, became a country artist.

We are living in fucked up times people!

And Ricki Rachman is no longer on tv weekly to guide us through.

Another Lost Post Because It Was Too Long For Comment Section

Published on May 5, 2006 in ..The Dude, Television and The Ill-Literates. 4 Comments

[image:127:l] I have figured this all out people!

Well not all of it. But here goes a part of what is going on on Lost in realation to Michael’s actions last night.

As I’ve stated before there are 2 groups of Others that were split along some kind of philosohical schismatic line that basically breaks down to the body-materialists vs the spiritualists-mentalists. This is also represented in the divisions between Locke and Jack.

Now I believe Michael when he says he saw a group of Others that were basically unarmed and rag-tag, and that have Walt. This is the same group we’ve gotten hints of and probably include “Zeke.” But I don’t think this is the group Michael is working with or that “Gale,” belong too. I think Gale’s group is where Goodwin and Ethan are from, a group we’ve seen has some hint of extraordinary physical strength.

Starting with his computer communication in the hatch I think Michael got in with this group somehow, and they convinced him of tha danger of the other group which also has Walt. Walt represents some extra sensory power as oppposed to the physical and is therefore attractive to that group, which shows their adherence to a philosophy of the mind and or spirit by their simple living, spare dress, and lack of need for weapons.

But they are dangerous, and the other group convinced Michael of that. Probably proved it to him somehow, as well as giving him an idea of Walt’s skill set and importance to that other group who for some reason connected to their powers, are unassailable by the physical Others on their own. They need help and sought to get it by dividing the survivors under the guidance of either Jack or locke. Walt now allows himself to be used to get the survivors to declare what he thinks is a righteous war on this group that has Walt.

Now Gale said he was there for Locke which would put a crimp into the theory somewhat since Jack would seem to be the more natural convert to their cause. But its possible that Gale was lying, or actually is part of the other Others. But his comments about Anna Lucia killing two of theirs including Goodwin, seem to indicate otherwise.

There could be a little leeway as far as the particulars of the philosophical dividing lines that could rectify some of this. Maybe they are both physically enhanced. Maybe there is more of a religio-fathful division less connected to the apparent physical engineering at play that make Locke a more appealing target to recruit for Gales group.

Or maybe that wanted Locke not to join them, but to kill him because they know he will be a threat to Jack and their own battle against the less material based Others.

That leaves me with an important question. Why can’t the one group move against the other group? Why do they need Locke, Mikey, or anyone outside, especially if they have physical gifts?

I’m not sure about this but we may have to look at the differences not only in the two groups but in the differences between the surviviors and each group. What do the survivors have going for them that would enable them to defeat the simple but possibly mentally enhanced Others that the other group does not have? Is it as simple as the weapons cache?

I think not. They could take that by force if they chose.

I’m not sure of the answer yet but I think the EMF and black cloud figure into it. As well as the hatch and its countdown clock. Though the writers have denied any purgatory explanations the author of the Twin story Sawyer was reading had a name that is a scrambled form of the word purgatory. This can be looked at in one of two ways. Either Jack’s burning it was a nod to fans to let them know they can burn such theories, or that though there is no actual purgatorial realm at play there is some spirit-ghost dimension that the EMF taps into. If the latter perhaps the native Others can use it to make themselves impervious or beyond the other Others and the survivors can somehow penetrate it for some reason.

While this part is a stretch I am in no way wedded to or claiming rock solid status for, there is something different about the survivors that makes them important.

Perhaps the moral purity issue or goodness is a factor. Perhaps that is even why Michael killed Anna L. Maybe her not being able to kill Gale showed she was ready. She had passed onto a higher moral level and could be freed? She was not in the way, or being punished for her sins against the Others, but may have been rewarded for clearing up her issues. Remember she was on her way home to deal with what she did. She had stopped running and wanted to be near family and face up to them. All she needed to work out was the anger issue and sense of vengeance. She did that by sparing Gale.

[image:126:l]

Ok now onto some other Lost issues.

I’m not so sure about Jack and Claire. Maybe Shannon is Jack’s half sister. Why was Shannon living in Australia? Could it be because her mom was there? The Claire thing just seems to easy and obvious to everyone after last night. Why make it so and save the big reveal for much later when its old news to fans? And there is alot of buzz about some girl named Charlotte who is supposed to show up next week. Much linkage to her and Jack’s father being reported. Remember Claire talked about her dad singing her that song (dont remember which). When would Jack’s dad have been around enough to form memories and bonding moments like that?

On the other hand, in the med hatch where Claire was kept didn’t the mobile play that song? So someone in the Dharma Initiative may have known it was sung to her. This suggests an Other, maybe even Him, could be her dad. That leads me to ask this question:

Whats up with Jack’s dad?

Not only is he connected to alot of people, but there has been an inordinate amount of attention payed to his coffin. Let me explain:

I’ve seen alot of online specualtion that Christian Shepherd is alive on the island and even a bigwig, or as Bob said, Him, behind Hanso. I wasn’t buying it. Now I’m wondering, not because of anything I’ve heard anyone specualte about or read anywhere but because I remembered that last nights flashback that showed Jack getting upset at the airport about getting his fathers body on the plane, was one of numerous times we’ve seen that clip. I’m not sure but I think we’ve seen it more than twice now. In Jacks flashback, anna Lucia’s, and I believe we got at least some of it in one or two others. There is clearly an emphasis being placed on the placement of that body on that plane with Jack.

And then last year we found the casket with no body.

This is starting to make me think there is something to all this specualtion.

What did Christian want anna to protect him from? Might he even fake his death to escape whatever it was.

What if that plane was brought down because of his live or dead body being on board?

Of course you also have possibilities brought on by the island’s power to heal and the apparent presence of some kind of advanced scientific application going on in connection to the island and the Hanso Foundation. I hope were not getting zombies or reanimated corpses, but even if not, I’m starting to think there is some big reveal revolving around Jack’s dad, the island, and Hanso, yet to come.

And as far as the islands science goes the manuscript Sawyer was reading was about twins. Something Twin was the title. Bad Twin. As in cloning maybe?

Could Jacks dad have been an important enough figure in all this to take down his plane before his body could escape their grasp because they needed genetic material from him in order to complete cloning procedures?

And another thing I did come across online. I had forgotten that Jack’s wife was named Sarah. I remember in one of Jack’s flashbacks how there was something a bit knowing about the way his father told him he needed to spend more time at home with his wife, who indeed was having an affair. And then Jack’s dad decides to call Anna Lucia, Sarah when they make their agreement in the airport. [image:123:l]

Did he really do such a thing? Did she? Is Sarah his daughter?

Tom was Christian’s chosen alias with Anna L. Any Tom’s in anyones past?

Anyone think Kate could be Jack’s sister? We don’t actually know that blonde woman was the daughter’s mother. Just someone who knew where she was, or she was staying with. The same music was playing in that scene as was playing when Kate got nabbed in Australia.

And how about that name Christian Shepherd anyway? Just a bit messianic you think?

And in relation to the moral issues the Others have alluded to. Or at least the good and bad thing. Notice how 2 women have had sex in the 2 seasons so far. At least extra marital sex as a nod to Gin and Sun. And they both died immediately thereafter.

Curious indeed.

Anyone up for a Lost party for the finale?

Lost Stuff, Truthiness In D.C., And Some Politics

Published on May 3, 2006 in ..The Dude and The Ill-Literates. 3 Comments

Plus Idol and Itchy & Scratchy: The Musical.

Bush’s ethnic cleansing of New Orleans continued as they held an election while a great amount of the black population was still displaced and couldn’t vote. Not unlike 2000 and 04 elections where thiese crooks purged and discouraged black voters. And democrats may be letting it happen in this case so they can expand support in other areas as the city’s blacks are dispersed over wider areas. The national shame just grows deeper and deeper. At times I think we’re no better than the fucking Sudan and Mugabe’s Operation clean out the rubbish in Zimbabwe.

On lighter note a great Simpsons the other night. They did a musical number based on Itchy and Scratchy that was as genius as the 7th seasons Planet of The Apes musical number. Both make me actually want to see these things on Broadway and believe they’d actually be hits. I loved when at the musicals end Lenny stood up to clap and yelled, “Necessary!” Episode had a little of that classic Simpsons feel as a few others have had this year. The show may not be what it was but it manages to still be “necessary” after 16 years.

Lost was a bit mindblowing tonight. Anna Lucia dead, Libby on the way if not dead already. And Claire may be Jack’s half sister.

Did they kill the ladies off due to their drunk driving issues in hawaii in recent weeks? Don’t know but I guess it sends a messege to the rest of the cast. I kind of like that. They’re guests over there on an one of the Hawaiin islands (I think they film on Oahu), and I wouldn’t want my cast getting a reputation for flaunting the laws or endangering locals like they’re superior in some way.

But if they kill Libby the whole loony bin tie with Hurley kind of goes nowhere. But she had something in front of her stomach which is clearly foreshadowing how she survives, at least temporarily, to later finger michael. And what she has under there must be related to her plans for her and Hurley after the beach thing didn’t work out.

But Jack will probably never know that Anna Lucia was in Australia because of his father. They can still get the sister revelation out through her flashbacks though, if indeed one is on the island, wheather it’s Claire or one of the other 35 or 40 survivors we don’t see much of.

If it’s Claire it may prove me wrong for asserting Jack’s messianic Jesus status. Claire’s baby, as we have gotten hints of could be a more important figure, and indeed may be the island, or even the worlds savior. And since Jack is his uncle and came before him, it could actually move jack closer to being God himself.

So maybe not, but Jack’s dad does get around doesn’t he?

By the by I just came across the title of tonights episode on line: Two For The Road.

Man that’s cold. And I guess makes it clear, if that’s the true title, that the off camera incidents are clearly a factor.

Steven Colbert was invited to the White House Correspondents Association’s annual dinner. It’s a gig where the President traditionally mingles with various figures from media of all political peruasions and does a little schtick himself. Last year LAura Bush famously made fun of W’s speech impediments. This year you may have seen the Bush look alike standing alongside him on the stage and doing a good natured job of keeping our great leader humble. All in good fun right? Yeah, usually. But sometimes someone gets up there and gets people upset and causes a stir. This year it was Colbert who stayed in him mock right wing posture to take some wicked stabs at Bush who sat right beside him.

Not surprisingly he scared much of the room silent. Also not surprisingly the media has not reported on this part though the 2 Bush’s on stage together have gotten much good natured play since it was after all benign and safe triteness.

Here’s a little of what Colbert, a man I’m thinking more and more of a genius all the time, said, courtesy of this report from blogcritics.org:

About he and Bush he said: “We’re not brainiacs on the nerd patrol,” he explained. “We’re not members of the ‘fact-inista.’ We go straight from the gut, right sir? That’s where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. I know some of you are going to say I did look it up, and that’s not true. But that’s because you looked it up in a book.”

A little later he offered a twist on what he calls his “neo-neocon” beliefs – “I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.”

Jaws dropped and the smile slowly slid off the president’s face as the room laughed a bit uncomfortably. They didn’t show Mark Smith’s [the event's organizer] face but I think that’s because he was hiding under the table. Colbert went on, “I believe in this president. Now, I know there’s some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don’t pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in ‘reality.’ And reality has a well-known liberal bias.”

By this time, the crowd nearest the President had apparently noticed that the leader of the free world didn’t find his admirer nearly as funny or charming as his doppelganger referring to his wife as “caliente.” The air grew thicker and the chuckles fainter even as Colbert calmly forged ahead on other topics, making this the one must-see moment in C-Span history.

“Fox News,” Colbert then pointed out, “Gives you both sides of every story, the President’s side and the Vice President’s side.” But he was disappointed in the rest of them. “Over the last five years you people were so good over tax cuts, W.M.D. intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn’t want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew. But, listen, let’s review the rules. Here’s how it works. The President makes decisions, he’s the decider. The Press Secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know, fiction.”

George Clooney must have laughed heartily but he and Helen Thomas were probably the only two who did. The rest of the room decided to crawl into the valley of depression the president was by then inhabiting. Laura Bush, meanwhile, creditably portrayed Medusa. Alas for her, she was unable to turn Colbert into stone as he then acknowledged the great big elephant in the room. “Joe Wilson is here, the most famous husband since Desi Arnaz. And of course he brought along his lovely wife Valerie Plame. Oh, my god! Oh, what have I said. I am sorry, Mr. President, I meant to say he brought along his lovely wife, Joe Wilson’s wife.”

Had it been any other network, the camera would then have cut to Karl Rove’s face. However, Steve Scully was probably standing with a knife at the cameraman’s throat by then so all we saw was Valerie Plame throwing her head back to laugh.

Colbert wound up with an ‘audition’ tape he’d made for the post of press secretary. Let’s just say it made Scott McClellan look good by comparison. Or it would have if it hadn’t been busy pillorying him. Finally, the tape ended… with Colbert screaming in horror as he falls prey to a beady eyed Helen Thomas on a quest for the truth and nothing but. And you could almost feel the tension snap as the evening drew to a close.

Colbert had already in the past said this about the Correspondents dinner: “We are both entrenched oligarchies with a stake in the survival of the status quo.” And when he got invited to dine and speak in their presence he didn’t forget that. He did what more media should but can’t. He exercised his right of free speech and didn’t back down from the cowardly lion of a president sitting a few feet from him. With so many dedicated to that status quo that keeps them in comfortable positions god bless Colbert for being invited into their midst and continuing to adopt their shamneful persona to show just how insipid and disgusting it is.

I know satire is his job, and its easier for him to do what he has always done, which is to embody the perversity of the Fox news mentality. Part of the problem is that it doesn’t appear to be anyone in the legitimate media’s job to stand up to these guys and put themselves in a position where it wouldn’t be any more of a stretch to skewer them in person than it was for Colbert.

Paris is gone from Idol. Something about her I just didn’t like. I think the name was one of those things. And the voice. Let’s not forget the voice. I like helium in my stars not my singers.

Now we’re down to Taylor, Chris, Eliot, and the lone female, and as far as I’m concerned, possibly the only woman on the planet who matters, Katherine.

I hope Taylor or Chris win since they are the only 2 I could imagine listening to ever again. I mean I like Kathy alot, but she would never do my kind of music. None of these Idol people generally do which is one reason I can’t figure out why i watch the show. I hate this type of singer oriented stuff for reasons you can find in last weeks Idol summation a bit lower down the home page. Maybe it’s just that I, like many Americans. like eliminating people. It gives us a sense of power. They disappear. We stay. They are gone. We are still aware of ourselves, and feel more control because our fates are not subject to the countries phone and text messeging votes.

But Chris and Taylor were my favorites from the beginning and I’m glad they are in the final 4. I might even download one of their tunes someday. I mean I doubt it, but I might.

Just imagine if we were subject to being voted on by America every week. Could be interesting. We just live our lives, do our jobs, conduct our relationships, and America votes wheather we can do it another week depending on last weeks results.

Man i’d be in trouble. Me and David Blaine. We’re both taking up a lot of space right now. BUt hey at least I’m not asking people to photograph it.

But maybe there’s a thread in this vote off idea. Any ideas?

30 minutes Of Love And Laughter (Or My Favorite T.V. Shows Ever)

Published on May 3, 2006 in ..The Dude, Television and The Ill-Literates. 0 Comments

Limiting this to sitcoms.

[image:90:l] All In The Family. Got to start it here. This show changed t.v. and was hilarious to boot. It had to be to make the then raunchy and taboo ground breaking material palatable and worthwhile. Archie Bunker was a great character despite being so flawed and idiotic. I think it helped alot of people grow out of their ignorance and bigotry seeing it refelcted on screen in so obviously stupid, if lovable man. A cultural meme show of significant proportions in my opinion.

[image:93:l] Seinfeld. Simply part of the culture when it was still on. It still is. How much of this show transcended the screen to become part of the lexicon? Shrinkage, master of my domain, they’re very refreshing, serenity now!, Festivus, soup nazi, these pretzels are making me thirsty, get out, yourda vedy vedy bad man, I have hand, yada yada yada, it’s in the vault, not that there’s anything wrong with that, and so much more.

[image:86:l] Cheers. The first 5 or so years were great tv writing at its best. Great ensemble that helped you forget this was a show about a bunch of drunks hanging out at the local bar.

[image:91:l] Simpsons. Homer is a cultural icon and national treasure. It belongs to the ages as the many books of simpsons related philosophy will help insure. And I actually think its been better this year than the past few. That’s after 16 years! Amazing.

Taxi. Great ensemble cast that didn’t even include two of its greatest members at the beginning. Andy Kauffman was relegated to a bit player. Enough said.

Mary Tyler Moore. She turned the world on with her smile.

Futurama. Better then the Simpsons during the 4 years it was on.

The Wonder Years. Great warmhearted nostalgic show before it got too soapy in the end. It had me riveted every Wednesday when it was on (or was it tuesday?). The music, the pathos of young love and growing up really rang true. Somehow making it a period show only made it’s already thick layers of nostagia reverberate that much more. Why isn’t this out on DVD yet?

[image:88:l] Arrested Development. doesn’t have the longevity I would normally require of shows on the list, but its 53 episodes are so extremely bright and full of stuff you don’t catch the first time that I’m making an exception. It’s not coming back like fans had hoped, but some later incarnation that includes the movie alluded to in the final episodes last scene remain a slight possibility. We hardly knew you AD, but we miss you. [image:89:l]