Well another work week is done. as I add up the holiday pay for working Xmas ( I do really prefer calling it that than invoking the C word which conjures up very silly comic book notions), and as I total the overtime hours worked, sum the social value of time spent with my coworkers as opposed to sitting alone in front of a computer typing posts, reading about the world, reading free stuff at barnes & noble, or working on fictional stuff, I wonder how far out of whack the balance sheet is. And more importantly I’m not sweating it because it’s time to do like Mr Plant said and Ramble On!
It’s 4:30 a.m. and I just spent an hour or two on a political post as I sit here listening to Green Day’s American Idiot thinking about how I’m not even trying to sleep despite not having had a decent nights sleep since wednesday night/Thursday morning (it’s monday/tuesday now), and yet I make no effort to stop reading, writing, or listening. I’d rather download the Beastie Boys than end the cycle of bad sleep habits. And I wonder if bad sleep habits and lack of nocturnal discipline could be a key symptom of a bigger problem. Am I too self indulgent despite all that I deny myself?
No need to ponder long kiddies. The answer is who cares!
I’m evolving and you cant stop me! Tossers!
This is a new thing with me now. Cursing in English. But Mark, or Dude you might even say, are not fuck and shit English words? Well sure, but I’m talking about England’s English. I’m getting back to our roots and will from now on be hurling alot of bloodies, and bollukses at the world. not that I’m a big curser. Generally I don’t use alot of profanity, almost never around kids or women, but I do like to let it out at times, feeling more comfortable doing it around no more than a handful of people. THere is still the time and place for a strategic f bomb, but even those few accustomed to hearing me let one fly now and again can start dealing with this harsh new reality that will probably cause many to call me pretentious more than they already do. And to them all I can say is bugger off you wankers!
Back to the original point of this incoherent rambling. I’ve been dead tired all weekend and now I can finally have 2 or 3 days to sleep peacefully and I’m getting stupid to the B Boys Open Letter To NYC (sweet ny tune full of great new yorker gets like 1010 Wins and Live At Five), and alternately wondering if I’m killing valuable braincells and hours of my life at work, if I should resume my After The Ennui story and where I might go with it now, how are the Mets going to get some pitching to make a real run, was the ending of American Psycho implying Patrick Bateman imagined much or all of what he did, If not how’d it all get cleared up, should I try this other idea as a screenplay or short story, why my vocabulary has diminished the past few years and what I can do to get it back, will this new info about the woman I’ve been crushing on make a difference, why are the Ramones so damn catchy, is Eli making any real progress and who the Giants are likely to lose to in the playoffs 2 weeks from now, how could I have eaten so many damn sweets the past few days, what should I do if the crazy one shows up again someday, I must smell not having showered since Sunday morning (this is not a common practice ladies), life on the road, houses in the area, this strange new growing calm and security regarding women, whether to go to school next semester or not, how I wish I could have a dog, can I grow spirit, how much evolving has been done and wiring changed in my brain and how much can realistically still be done with a 38 year old brains hard wiring, how I have patterns too, how Pedro isn’t going to hold up for another season, do i want to go see Saryana at mall or Rosendale if I go one of the next 2 nights, how something good is due and I have the power and sanctioning from something higher, how full of shit (excuse me, shite), that might be, how I can’t wait for 24 on the 15th, how guilty I should feel over that concerning how right wing the show often is if you really think about, how at least I’ve changed some patterns and understand them so have precedent, how I may just not sleep anymore and suffer the consequences and benefits, how I’m probably going to sleep so damn late tomorrow and have to jump right out of here and head for Kingston to errand and enjoy some civilization at B&N, the Rangers bubble seems to be bursting as inevitably it would in the face of tougher competition, will Dem’s go hard at Scalito, isn’t this White Phosphorous thing also impeachable, Giants defense just isn’t good enough and too battered now anyway and they may not even beat Oakland new years eve to get division crown, and should I stay and work until 9 saturday and volunteer to screw myself as I got screwed Xmas eve which is probably good, and what I need is a good football party/new years eve thing but know no Giants fans, how I miss Manhattan so bloody much, will Al Franken make a good Senator if he runs, Missouri, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Minnesota, Montana, and Ohio can all go Democrat in November if they start making some smart calls and then in the name of god impeach the fucker (f bomb warranted and entirely appropriate there and in most matters dealing with Bush administration, i need more exercise beyond the half hour on treadmill at work tonight (and I still didnt shower for the love of god), and how do i get this Br’er Rabbit thing off here, and do I get evolving spiritual points for my living arrangements, and how if i could teach the world to sing in perfect harmony I’d get a really awesome metal ballad thing going because metal ballads taught us how to cry and we could use a good cry right about now even though the musical era that best defines me and that I am most kindred with is early 90′s grunge era Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden and such and how I dont think there’s been a solid musical movement since and will I live to see or hear another one especially considering I could be deaf oneday, and how she talks to rainbows, she talks to trees, she talks to angels, she don’t talk to me, don’t talk to me, what in the name of sweet dancing moses ever happened to Phoebe Cates, will I stay with arc in some capacity when Will heads to Mexico in June and I’ll miss the kid, I hope Jeff’s surgery goes well and he starts getting some satisfaction physically, is my dad sad alot, look out!-dodge that regret! serenity now! so many memorable lines and phrases from Seinfeld, tv show list needs to written, should watch or read High Fidelity again, did Mary Ellen ever see Say Anything and everyone should though I’m not sure everyone likes it as much and did anyone get me referencing it with my title post recently, and does anyone get me, I’m so advanced and operating on higher levels, and oh shite what an arse I am so just stop cause nobody knows better than me what a simpleminded jack off i can be even if ido have rare moments of brilliance not related to post titles, Phoebe Cates was so damn irresistably cute and sexy, bet the Mets are glad they listened to me and kept Wright, why dont they listen more, I think the H on my channel 120 stands for Hitler channel rather than History since most stuff on there goes back to him so much of the time, damn that Davinci Code trailer looked good Opie, I friggin forgot to tape Arrested Development tonight and hope it wasn’t on and I’m part of the problem not the solution with saving this show, will Radiohead make a good album ever again, Phoebe where are you! Barry was more than a man he was a Man-Illow and he was doing ok but not really well life going along as it should, its all very nice, but not very good.
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